Chick: I think James* hit on me but I’m scared because I don’t know what his orientation is.
Dude: He’s Caucasian.
–Pace University
Chick: I think James* hit on me but I’m scared because I don’t know what his orientation is.
Dude: He’s Caucasian.
–Pace University
Biotech: Does anybody want my college brochures? I got them today, but I’m not going to any of them, so does anybody want them?
Queer: Yeah, I want them.
Biotech: You can’t have them. They’re all about all-girl schools. You’re not a girl, so you can’t have them.
Queer: Come on! Let me have them!
Biotech: No! To go to this school you have to have a vagina, and unless you have a sex change in the next three months, you’re going to miss the deadline anyway!
Queer: Just let me have them!
Biotech: Oh yeah! I forgot! You do have a vagina!
Queer: Oh yeah? Well, you were born with a tail!
Biotech: A ponytail!
Queer: Only because your dad is a horse!
Biotech: I guess you’d know because your mom is always riding him!
Queer: Just let me see the college brochures.
–N 5th
Lady carrying box: What brings you to the city?
British woman: We’re here looking at schools.
Lady carrying box: Well, are you concerned about electromagnetic fields?
–New Yorker Hotel elevator
Overheard by: Alyssa
Community college student #1: What stop do we get off at?
Community college student #2: Canal Street
Community college student #1: Is that, like, a number?
–Downtown 2 train
Overheard by: not a community college student
Anorexic dancer #1: Dude, so I only have to lose like, twelve more pounds.
Anorexic dancer #2: No way! I’ll never get cast in the workshop performance if I don’t break one hundred.
Anorexic dancer #1: Yeah, you should just give up now.
–School of American Ballet
College girl: Excuse me… excuse me… who is Darfur?
Guy: Are you kidding me? You need to get educated… you haven’t heard of the genocide there?
College girl: Pshhh… we pay people to gather information. Why do I need to know it?
–4/5/6 platform, 96th St
Overheard by: Sheena Tahilramani
Girl #1: Which Russian mystic man has his penis on display?
Girl #2: Stalin?
–Marymount Manhattan College
Girl #1: I could never be a lesbian. Like, I might be able to kiss a girl, but if I had to go down on someone, UGH!
Girl #2: Yeah, if I had to go down on a girl I think I’d faint.
Girl #1: I wouldn’t faint, but I’d vomit… probably on her cooch.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Gablowo
Teen girl #1: If you were a guy, I would totally rape you.
Teen girl #2: Isn’t it the other way around?
Teen girl #1: No. I wouldn’t rape a girl. Unless she was a guy.
Teen girl #2: Oh.
–Broadway
Sarah Lawrence guy: And how is your grandmother?
Sarah Lawrence girl: I don’t know, fucking dying, like everyone else’s grandmother.
–Metro-North
Overheard by: has a healthy grandmother
