Angry theology teacher: God created Adam and Eve–
Chick, cutting her off: –Who created God?
–Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island
Angry theology teacher: God created Adam and Eve–
Chick, cutting her off: –Who created God?
–Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island
Student, after two-hour lecture on Charles Darwin: Yo, professor?
Teacher: Yes, Phyllis?
Student: That Charlie — he da man!
Teacher: Indeed! Charlie is the man, Phyllis! Excellent!
–Queensborough Community College
Overheard by: Just trying to pass…
NYU girl: I’m so stressed out.
NYU boy: You’re stressed out? I’m rushing for a fraternity. I’m stressed out.
NYU girl: What do you have to do?
NYU boy: Can’t say. It’s top secret.
NYU girl: Oh my gawd, tell me!
NYU boy, jokingly: I get hazed.
NYU girl: What’s hazed?
NYU boy: Oh my god. Wikipedia it.
NYU girl: What’s Wikipedia? Well, whatever. I want to rush for a fraternity.
NYU boy: You can’t. A fraternity is only for boys.
NYU girl: Ugh, fine! Then I’ll rush for a maternity and I’ll be cooler than you and your top secret fraternity.
NYU boy: Okay, we’re not friends for ten minutes.
–Starbucks, W 4th
College girl #1: If you have holes in your pants and it’s winter, you’re not making a fashion statement, you’re poor.
College girl #2: But she was wearing leggings under them…
College girl #1: No, I don’t care. She’s poor.
–St. John’s University
Girl: Last time you told me something was overrated I got pregnant.
–Sephora, Broadway
Overheard by: linzz
Guy: … So then she changed her middle name to something like "Afterbirth…"
–Spring St
Overheard by: boston bobby
College guy on cell: He was like, ‘Shit, she’s got a bun in the oven!’ And I was like, ‘Oh, shit!’
–Columbia University
Overheard by: roo
Chick: She said he talked to her on the phone and that’s how he got her pregnant.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: Wondering how that works
Preggers: I’m gonna across this street against the light, pregnant and all, and I’m not gonna have a miscarriage.
–Eastern Pkwy & Classon Ave, Crown Heights, Brooklyn
Employee to another: I only gained two pounds during my pregnancy, and I’m on my seventh month!
–Burger King, 5th Ave, between 36th & 37th
Overheard by: EE Grimshaw
NYU girl on cell: … So then the doctor comes in and he goes, ‘Houston, we have a problem…" I know, right? What’s with doctors trying to be all funny when they’re telling you that you’re pregnant?
–NYU bus
Overheard by: tj
Russian guy on cell: I went to see Saw III. Best movie ever — the girl in front of me fainted in the beginning of the movie! Five minutes into the movie she just fainted, and her boyfriend started calling for help. I called an ambulance, they took her away… That movie was awesome!
–Brooklyn-bound Q train
Overenthusiastic male student: Oh! I met Borat! He goes to NYU, right?
–Hunter College
Guy to everyone in theater: Shhh, I’m recording this!
–Movie theater, Court St, Brooklyn
Blonde: Yeah, so I watch Brokeback Mountain like it’s my Bible. I hang on every word, ’cause I really want to know how gay people talk.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Stina
Guy on cell: 28 Days was just stupid. Zombies aren’t like that. Dawn of the Dead is the most realistic portrayal of zombies I’ve ever seen!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Philip Niosi
Chick to hipsters: I did my first autopsy to The Wizard of Oz.
–The Village, near Mulberry
Overheard by: DC Diva
NYU student: I feel like the professor didn’t scare me enough about the final exam y’know? So then, like, I didn’t get nervous enough, so then I didn’t study enough, so then I didn’t do well on it, y’know? So, like, it’s really my professor’s fault, y’know?
–Korean deli, 13th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Joseph O’Connell
Cop: Yeah, the open-book exam? I passed it on appeal.
–45th & Broadway
Guy on cell: … Fucked me, dude. Fucked me hard. Bent me over the desk and rammed a bluebook right up my ass. Sooo fuckin’ hard…
–Union Square
Guy: I should have studied for this final… But the tequila was so good!
–NYU Silver Center
Student to professor during final: Do you want us to use our intelligence or follow the instructions?
–Columbia University
Ghetto girl #1: He was pissing me off, so I went all Moses on his ass.
Ghetto girl #2: Pshhh.
–Lehman College
Overheard by: Naomi & Yana Iz
Dude: He’s a big dude.
Lady: Even big dudes have sensitive nuts.
–Pace University
Undergrad #1: I think business is, like, so boring.
Undergrad #2: Yeah, well, I think history is, like, so redundant.
–Bathroom, Pace University
