Teacher: Well, I guess it’s just Vomit and Dildo Day here in screen writing class.
–SVA Building, 21st St
Black queer to Chinese server: You tell Steve that he better come over and pick up his dildo or I’ma kick his ass!
–Christopher & Greenwich St
Overheard by: Justin Tang
Middle-aged stagehand to another: All I know is that I need to get a lot more KY jelly before next week.
–Striking stagehand picket line, Broadway
Dude to chick: You’ll have to wear a dildo…
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Elegant lady: That’s really one of the two great stories of your childhood, the other one being when I walked into Yhe Pleasure Chest and said, ‘Can you recommend a good vibrator for a child?’ Suddenly everyone got very quiet and still, and I gasped and said, ‘Oh, no, not like that! It’s just that… I’m a Greenwich Village mom, and she’s been using the electric toothbrush!’ They were much friendlier once they thought I was the sort of person who was going to go down the street to the market and buy some spinach, and not a dangerous pervert.
–Park Ave Bistro
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Bearded guy, excitedly: True! But what a vibrator that would be!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Argopelter
