Little boy tugging on mom’s arm: Mommy, why are we here?
Mom: Because everything’s organic, sweetie.
Little boy, excitedly: I love organic!
–Trader Joe’s, Union Square
Overheard by: Lacy
Little boy tugging on mom’s arm: Mommy, why are we here?
Mom: Because everything’s organic, sweetie.
Little boy, excitedly: I love organic!
–Trader Joe’s, Union Square
Overheard by: Lacy
Guy #1: Actually, I can only have orgasms while I eat good food.
Guy #2: This is why I wear diapers.
–Richardson St & Graham Ave, Williamsburg
Overheard by: martimus
Suit #1: So, I was at lunch, and I went to Subway to get a sandwich…
Suit #2: Uh-huh…
Suit #1: And I ran into this other guy from work as I was walking out, and he says, ‘Oh my god, I had no idea you were the kind of guy who would eat at Subway!’
–The North East Kingdom, Bushwick, Brooklyn
MTA lady to another: I thought he had an earring in his tongue, but it was a meatball! It was like a little extra piece of meat on his tongue!
–3 train station
Chick: Gosh, they keep the kosher kitchen security so tight. What would they do if I just ran in there and touched everything with pork?
–Hewitt dining hall, Barnard College
Overheard by: laughed inside
Bimbette: Yeah, she’s a vegetarian now. No turkey, no meat — nothing. But I don’t know what she’s gonna do at Thanksgiving, because my aunt makes the best eggplant. Wait — is eggplant meat?
–A train
Overheard by: nas
Dude: This girl I know is vegan. She was ordering soup and asked if it had meat in it. It did, and she was pissed… And then I found five dollars!
–23rd & Madison
50-ish woman on cell: The sausages, the arguing… He won’t be back.
–Court St & Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: lisa Santandrea
Really tall guy folding himself into a Toyota Corolla: Don’t let me forget — I have a pocket full of meat!
–7th St, between Ave A & B
Overheard by: Siobhan
Lady suit: Man, I love cheese. You know what I wish I had? A pillow made of cheese. That way I can eat cheese when I’m awake and when I sleep. I can, like, chew on my pillow and I’ll truly be eating cheese 24/7. Wouldn’t that be amazing?
Male suit: Mmm, yes.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: drew roddy
Old UES lady: We want to split the salad. Can they do that for us?
Waiter, patiently: I’m sorry, we don’t split the salads in the kitchen, but I can bring you an extra plate.
Old UES lady: Ugh, I just find that so offensive.
–Candle 79 Restaurant
Overheard by: sypmathetic former waitress
Suit #1: When I dine out I like to enjoy my meal — savor the good food and wine — without any distractions.
Suit #2: Oh, alright, but I thought you’d make an exception for ninjas.
–Water & Broad St
Drunk girl: I ate two sausages tonight. Two!
Drunk friend: Oh my god!
Drunk girl: I don’t even eat sausages.
Drunk friend: Wow!
Drunk girl: They were the best sausages I ever had.
–29th & 9th
Little boy: Daddy, I want a hamburger.
Dad: Hmmm.
Little boy: A hamburger, Daddy. I want… a hamburger!
Dad: Yes, you do.
Little boy: Daddy, I want–
Dad: –You’re not getting a goddamned hamburger!
–Nobu Sushi
Lady: I had the worst experience at that restaurant.
Friend: What did you have?
Lady: Horrible diarrhea.
Friend: I meant, what did you order?
–51st & 8th
Overheard by: raquel
