Woman: Having sex with him was the same as eating a slice of plain Wonder bread while looking in the window of a Crate and Barrel.
–York & 70th
Woman: Having sex with him was the same as eating a slice of plain Wonder bread while looking in the window of a Crate and Barrel.
–York & 70th
Chubby Chick: Dude, I missed your set because I was hungry!
–Opaline, Ave. A
An old lady is crossing the street with a small dachshund. As they approach Gray’s Papaya, the woman looks down and asks: Jimmy, did you say you wanted a hot dog?
–72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Jonathan
Girl: Can I bring mac and cheese to the porn show or is that tacky?
Guy: It’s not tacky; it’s necessary.
–Bed-Stuy
Man: Do you think anyone will notice us coming into work together?
Woman: I don’t know, but I’m still going to get an apple.
Man: Yeah, I’m going to get my third cup of coffee.
–42nd Street
Cashier #1: I’m sorry, what kind of drink do you want?
Cashier #2: He said fruit punch. There’s a time to work and a time to think!
–Popeye’s, 34th St.
Guy: …and they were like, it’s gonna cost sixty, but you get the this, and the that, and for sixty five, you can also get the other thing. I was like, “I’ll just have the chicken.”
–Port Authority
Boss of People: I don’t have to get to work before my guys anymore. Because there are no guys! They’re all laid off.
–Port Authority
Suit: Bran muffin.
Cashier: A bran muffin and what?
Suit: Just a bran muffin.
Cashier: Oh, I thought you said “coconut something”.
Suit: No, I don’t have coconut in the morning.
–Au Bon Pain, 44th & Madison
Man: …and three plain cheeseburgers.
Cashier: Plain? Does that mean you want those with cheese, or not?
–McDonald’s, St. Mark’s Place
Woman: My dad controls all the money in the house, to the point where if my mom wants to go shopping she has to talk to him. She’d said, ‘You really need to go to the grocery. Your daughter only had a protein shake to eat today.’ He said, ‘Well, she needs to lose weight anyway.’ It’s crazy. That’s the kind of shit we had to deal with growing up.
–29th & Park
