Foreigners

Angry European husband: Listen, you take American currency, don’t you? We can pay US cash! That’s money!
Clerk: Sir, the sign says credit, debit or gift card only. We can’t accept money at this counter. You have to go to the other side.
Angry European husband: This is bullshit. You don’t accept money? You’re a liar who doesn’t know English! I see everyone here paying money at this counter!
Clerk: Sir, we can’t take money at this counter. No cash. No money. Just cards.
Angry European wife: Shut up! You’re so stupid!
Clerk: Alright. Bye, have a nice day. Next.
Angry European wife: Shut up! You’re so stupid! Learn English before you get a job here!

–Century 21 across from WTC

Headline by: snarls

Runners-Up:
· “Any Wonder They’ve Starteed Two World Wars Was Immediately Dispatched” – Ty
· “Charles & Camilla Charmed Everyone During Their Visit” – Zoot, Just Zoot
· “Go Back To Whatever Country I Came From” – Kevin P
· “God, I HATE Being Trapped in This Stupid Visa Commercial!” – Never Carries Cash
· “It’s Getting Difficult To Tell The Tourists From Natives” – Trey Jackson
· “La Vengeance Est Douce: or How We Learned to Stop Worrying and Love America” – noon
· “The American Meltdown Pot” – Qasar
· “Whose Line Was That, Anyway?” – Marie

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

NYU Guy: Hey! I know you!
Foreign NYU Girl: Good! How are you?

–14th & Irving Place

Overheard by: NewYorkerNick

Russian Man: Don’t push.
Spanish Lady: This is the subway. What do you expect?
Russian Man: Well, you don’t have to push.
Spanish Lady: Welcome to New York City!
Russan Woman: Yeah, welcome to New York City.
Spanish Lady: You welcoming me? You’re the one with the accent!

–L Train

German tourist: You can’t smoke inside and you can’t drink outside. What the hell do you people do in New York City?

–Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: Christopher

Jewess: That’s the third time you mentioned Jews. What’s wrong with Jews?
Goy: They are demanding, confrontational, and have a hard time telling the truth. What religion are you, anyway?
Jewess: Uh…Baptist.

–Times Square

Overheard by: J. Peter Jones

Russian Lady: Oh no, he’s too gentle to be a teacher. He went there before and the kids did whatever they wanted. They took everything from the tables.

–D Train

American Man: Do they know in Africa who Helen Keller is?
African Woman: Yes…didn’t she have a television show a couple of years ago?

–Forest Hills

Drunk: They’re, like, Mafia terrorists! …but they’re French.

–Divine Bar West

Overheard by: Megan Buckley

Brit Businessman: I hate having to eat. Because you eat and you just feel like a fattie.
Brit Businesswoman: I haven’t eaten.
Brit Businessman: You haven’t eaten?
Brit Businesswoman: Well, I had breakfast and then lunch.

–57th and Park

Overheard by: Heather

Woman walking in Stanley Park in Vancouver to the man with her: “Your serotonin levels seem really high today.”