Asian girl: I can’t believe you blocked me from Galen.
Hawaiian boy: Well, he’s bisexual, so it’s fair game to both of us.
Hipster girl: But he asked her first. You totally cock-blocked your fag hag. You can’t cock-block your fag hag!
–12th & 1st
Asian girl: I can’t believe you blocked me from Galen.
Hawaiian boy: Well, he’s bisexual, so it’s fair game to both of us.
Hipster girl: But he asked her first. You totally cock-blocked your fag hag. You can’t cock-block your fag hag!
–12th & 1st
Puking girl: At least I’m getting rid of calories.
Friend helping her: That’s right.
Puking girl: And I don’t like calories.
–Pier 60, Chelsea Piers
Overheard by: gleebster
Chick, to loudly burping friend: Oh my god, did you seriously just burp out loud in Bergdorf’s? Who are you?!
–Bergdorf’s
Overheard by: trooshieb
Loud girl: Ugh! It smells like vagina in here!
Embarrassed friend: Shhh! You’re so loud!
Loud girl: No, seriously. It fucking smells on this train. It smells like a big, sweaty fucking vagina.
Embarrassed friend: It’s not that bad.
Loud girl: Yes, yes it is. Those train doors are the hole, and now we’re standing in a loose, flappy, smelly vagina.
–6 train
Overheard by: it did smell
Fat girl: … And then I, like, tasted my cum and it tasted like bleach.
Skinny friend: Hey, your nose ring is out.
Fat girl: Like fuckin’ bleach, man.
–Elevator, between A train & 1 train, 168th St station
Chick #1: You know how people will, like, tell their parents a bunch of really horrible lies to make whatever they need to tell them seem not as bad?
Chick #2: Yeah…
Chick #1: I think that’s what I’m gonna do.
Chick #2: What’s worse than getting pregnant, dropping out of school, and moving to Jersey?
–3 train
Girl: Don’t you feel bad?
Guy: About what?
Girl: For one, you’re in your girlfriend’s jeans, her jacket, her flats, and her fucking pearls. And second…
Guy: And second what?
Girl: You got fucked by three different guys in the two days she’s been out of town.
Guy: If I suck so much, why the fuck are we friends?
Girl: ‘Cause when she is out of town, I have my own little gay Barbie doll and fashion expert all in one. And it’s your turn to buy the manicures.
–72nd & 1st
Overheard by: Julie
Pudgy guy: I got her number.
Female friend: Oh, you did?! Wow, you must have been charming.
Pudgy guy: I know!
Female friend: I wouldn’t give you my number.
Pudgy guy: Oh, I know… The alcohol helped.
–89th & 3rd
Desperate wannabe bridezilla: Let me ask you a question — if you’re at a wedding and the bride throws the bouquet directly to you instead of to the whole crowd, does it still count?
Friend: I don’t think any of it really counts.
Passerby: Way to kill the mood.
–Elevator, 11th & University
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Lady: Oh, man, I hate it when it rains, because there’s water and you get wet.
Male companion: Yes, I know exactly what you mean.
–6 train, 86th & Lex
Overheard by: Beth
