Drunk girl: I want to do a cartwheel!
Sober girl: No. No, no, no.
Drunk girl: But I’m so good at them — and handstands! I can do mad-good handstands. Watch! Watch me! [Puts her hands on the ground.]Sober girl: I said no!
–E 10th & Ave A
Overheard by: simon says
Gray Line tour guide: … And then I looked up into one of these fabulous brownstone buildings and there was a naked woman. She did a dance for the entire bus. Completely naked. Eye contact and everything. That’s why I never look into windows anymore…
–The Village
Girl to friend: As long as they don’t know that you’re naked, it’s okay.
–68th St
Crazy guy: One… Two… Three… Naked!
–A train
Overheard by: quietly laughing to herself
Man to another: In my neighborhood, once you walk past Avenue A, none of the men are wearing shirts.
–47th & 10th
Overheard by: MuffinPuffin
Man to landlord, in Polish: There is this naked woman and naked man constantly running around the basement at night. We just can’t let this guy keep doing this.
–Nassau Ave
Overheard by: Izabela
Excited chick on cell: I just took my shirt off! In a room full of people talking their shirts off!
–Harlem
Overheard by: Ladle
Italian conductor over loudspeaker: Everyone, get the fuck away from the doors and get on this fucking train. Every fucking day the same shit. You’re only hurting yourselves, morons! Fucking inconsiderate assholes. You either get on or get the fuck off!
Conductor #2: Mike, man, come on.
Italian conductor: Fuck this, man. We’re going express!
–7 train, Junction Blvd
High school boy #1: Man, those lesbians are everywhere!
High school boy #2: Yeah!
High school boy #1: Yeah, man! I used to think that shit was cool, but then I was like, “Shit! I ain't gettin' any of that!”
High school boy #2: Yeah!
–Downtown 4 Train
Overheard by: klo
Girlfriend: Get up!
Boyfriend, lying flat on back with vomit on shirt: You are the worst girlfriend I’ve ever had.
–2nd Ave, between 10th & 11th St
Overheard by: Aaay
15-year-old boricua: Check that shit out — they puttin’ the price up from $1.25 to $1.50!
15 year-old Latino: They be doin’ that all the time. Two years before that it was, like, a dollar.
15 year-old thug: Fuckin’ thieves.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: scipio
Mom to screaming child: Shut the fuck up!
Man: Yeah, keep telling your kid ‘Shut the fuck up’ so he can grow up and steal my car someday.
–6 train
Overheard by: ChickyWang
Guy: Yo, where's your boyfriend at?
Girl: He's at his house.
Guy: Tell him I hate him!
–W 207th St & Cooper St
Overheard by: The Green Cat
Lady: Oh my god! Can you stop pushing?! That is so rude!
Hipster who pushed onto train: Get used to it. I’ll be doing this all week.
–6 train
Overheard by: used to it
Little boy, seeing long line for movie tickets: I’m not waiting! This line is too long!
Mom: You have to learn to wait in lines… God, you complain more than a pregnant woman.
–Brooklyn
