A Benetton Ad, It Isn’t

A black girl tries to squeeze past twin asian chicks and a little asian boy to get into the train.

Black girl: Do you mind?
Asian chick #1: Don’t be rude, can’t you go around us?
Black girl: I don’t move around people; they move around me.
Asian chick #1: You’re inside now, so please stop yelling at us.
Black girl: You are so rude! Is that how you talk to people in front of your child?
Asian chick #1: You know, I’m tired of listening to your crap. Talk to the hand.
Asian boy: Yeah, you talk too much. Talk to the hand!

–A train

Posted on January 6, 2014
Asians, Black People, Gripes, On the Subway

See, We’re Not So Unlike the Midwest in NY!

Woman: That’s where I got that crappy muffin. I can’t believe they serve muffins with no sugar. The only source of sucrose was in the blueberry. And there was only one blueberry!

–21st & 5th

Overheard by: TG

Posted on January 6, 2014
Fruit, Gripes, Junk Food & Fast Food, Murray Hill and Gramercy

There Are Niche Fetishists Who Would Pay Top Dollar for That Footage

Guy #1: I just don't like the look of the outie. And sometimes she rubs it against me, it creeps me out!
Guy #2: Dude, she's fuckin' hot! And you're complaining when she rubs against you?
Guy #1: No, no, no–she's not rubbing against me, she's rubbing the outie against me–big difference! And she's only doing it to creep me out, 'cause she thinks it's funny.

–6 Train

Posted on January 24, 2011
Body Parts, Foreplay, Gripes, Guys, Sensory Experiences, Trains Not Subway

And He's Not Even Cute

Gay guy: I don't know, like, I've just had such a bad week, it's been terrible.
Friend: It's like A Series of Unfortunate Events, dude!
Gay guy: You're so right. Count Olaf is like, all up in my grill!

–8th & University

Overheard by: sophie

Posted on January 5, 2011
Books & Writing, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gripes, West Village

When Compliments Attack!

Woman to friend, in crowded line: I feel like I'm in a department store. I'm riddled with anxiety.
Friend: If you don't get good customer service, you walk the fuck outta there! I am anal about customer service in the gym.
(they reach the cashier)
Friend to cashier: Hey, lady, you actually know how to do your job. They should make you manager, so at least someone around here does what they're supposed to.

–Wholefoods, Chelsea

Overheard by: Katherine

Posted on December 17, 2010
Advice, Cashiers, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Friends, Gripes, Shopping, Women

If You're Intimating That They Smell Like Hairy Vagina, You Are Correct.

Young gay man: These two girls I live with don't shower.
Older gay man: Ugh! That's so Bushwick.

–Starbucks, Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Natty

Posted on December 12, 2010
Gripes, Health and Hygiene, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYC Geography, Queer guys

When He Caught an Episode Of The Bad Girls' Club, He Went Into a Coma.

Woman, as train stops: Mmm-mm… Excuse you!
Younger man: Huh?
Woman: You cut in front of me.
Younger man: How did I cut in front of you? You get up, and the people closer to the door go first. Like on a plane.
Woman: You cut in front of me, and a gentleman never cuts in front of a lady.
Younger man: Right. And a lady doesn't go “mmm-mm… Excuse you!”

–Grand Central Platform

Posted on December 6, 2010
Anger Management, Biotechs, Comebacks, Gripes, Insults, Passengers, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

Your Sandwich-Making Skills Are Fairly Middling.

Obnoxious girl: I want the meat closer to the bread.
(employee tries four different configurations trying to figure out what girl wants)
Obnoxious girl: No, I want the meat closer to the bread.
(worker pulls out some of the center of the bread)
Obnoxious girl: Now that you have mangled it, I want new bread.

–Subway, 110th St & Lenox