Short guy, stepping on tall guy’s heel: Sorry.
Tall guy: Yeah.
Short guy: I said I was sorry!
Tall guy: What?
Short guy: I said I was sorry, alright?
Tall guy: Okay, whatever–
Short guy: –Well, say something, asshole!
Tall guy: Fuck off!
Short guy: What?!
Tall guy: Fuck off! Fuck off!
Short guy: Yeah, yeah…
–43rd & 8th
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Drunk girl #1: This was a bad idea.
Drunk girl #2: What? Drinking?
Drunk girl #1: No. Living.
–Lower East Side
Hipster girl #1: I was blowing him and it was taking, like, 20 minutes, so I finally told him to hurry up since my jaw was hurting.
Hipster girl #2: I hate that! How can they take that long to just finish?
Suit nearby: If you would do it right, it would only take two minutes.
–2 train
Overheard by: TP
Teen girl #1: I hate these tourists! They’re fucking everywhere!
Teen girl #2, in next stall over: I know!
Teen girl #1: It’s like, ‘Don’t you have the Gap in, like, Kansas or something?’
–Gap dressing room, Times Square
Angry mom: Shut up! Stop crying like a wuss! You sound like a little girl!
Boy: ‘Cause I don’t wanna get wet! Tell him to stop!
Angry mom: Princess, you’re already in the pool.
–Staten Island
Conductor #1: There is a train ahead of us at the station. We’ll be moving shortly.
Conductor #2: The D just crossed in front of us. Now there’s an A and a D. I’m tired, too. I was out ’til four AM last night. I’m gonna take a nap!
–A train
Overheard by: is this man ok to drive?
Lesbo: I’m just sick of everyone stereotyping and treating people based on race, sexual orientation, or whatever.
Staight woman: Yeah, it’s hard to avoid.
Lesbo: I know! And it’s like 2007! Everyone’s gay or lesbian. The stereotyping is everywhere — school, the gym, work.
Straight woman: Oh, where do you work?
Lesbo: Home Depot.
–4 train
Overheard by: Stephen Fargo
Four-year-old boy in Superman cape being carried by exhausted mom: Owie! Owie, owie, owie! [Mom sets him down.] Now I won’t even be able to do yoga!
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: bemused bostonian
Chick to another: She’s a weed-smoking, modern orthodox girl. I mean, I don’t think she goes to her rabbi’s high, but…
–Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: cole
Professor: … So the art department on the set just smokes pot all day and paints blue boulders.
–Media Productions class, City College
Mini thug: Yo, I wouldn’t even have to be high out of my mind to enjoy this shit!
–Brooklyn Cyclone, Coney Island
Overheard by: Alie
Smoking model on cell: Um, yeah, he’s cute… But, duh — he’s addicted to opiates!
–Houston & Laffayette
Overheard by: Jake
Hobo to girls: How are you smiling in a city filled with a million crackheads?
–56th & 5th
Guy on a rant in front of Imagine mosaic: In my next life I want to be an amoeba! Make more music, smoke more pot… Eating healthily is expensive! We should all have 40 acres and a mule and start all over!
–Strawberry Fields, Central Park
Overheard by: I’ll have what he’s having
Puerto Rican girl: Yo, stop starin’.
Puerto Rican guy: Bitch, I gotta feed my eyes!
–3rd & 2nd
Overheard by: jharris
