Girl: I sooo want oatmeal.
Guy: I have a George Foreman grill.
Girl: That doesn’t help me get oatmeal.
–1 train
Overheard by: Ethank
Girl: I sooo want oatmeal.
Guy: I have a George Foreman grill.
Girl: That doesn’t help me get oatmeal.
–1 train
Overheard by: Ethank
Drunk guy #1: That’s not even right, man. That girl is too hot to be standing next to that fugly woman.
Drunk guy #2: Excuse me, ma’am, could you move a few steps to the left? You’re upsetting my friend.
–7 train
Overheard by: David Moss
Guy #1: Dude, are you studying?
Guy #2, not looking up from Game Boy: Fuckin’ Pokemons… Gotta catch ’em all.
–Butler Library, Columbia University
Overheard by: Mark Pancho
Chick, peering into bar: Hey! The Yankees are on!
Dude: What are you, poor? Let’s go home and watch it in HD.
–110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Barry P.
Guy #1: They say a lot of people who suffer from bipolar disorder are promiscuous.
Guy #2: Yeah, I know. That was my ex-girlfriend’s excuse for being a whore.
–Financial District
Girl on cell: Stop talking about my grandmother’s ba-donka-donk!
–6th & 2nd
Girl on cell: So, she walked in on me getting out of the shower again this morning… Yeah, I guess I could put a lock on the door, but I’m really starting to think that my grandma just likes seeing me naked in the morning.
–School of Visual Arts
Overheard by: dobby
Chick on cell: What should I get for Grandma? No, I’m not at a mall, I’m on the street… No, I don’t see anything she’d like, unless… Do you think Grandma wants a bong?
–St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Heather
Dude to hot chick: I’d rather have sex with you than my grandma.
–1 train
Overheard by: bldlube
Guy on cell: So then he’s like, ‘Dude, are you in prison again?’ And I was like, ‘No, dude, I’m talking to you online. How could I be in prison?’ And he was like, ‘There was a computer when I was in prison. I mean, you had to suck dick to get online, but whatever.’ And I was like, ‘Dude, I’m at my grandma’s house. We’re having tea and shit.’
–E 14th St & Irving
Hobo: [Mumbles.]20-something #1: What did he just say?
20-something #2: I think he was offering us grilled cheese.
–17th & 3rd
Guy, about subway preacher’s Bible-thumping: Well, I’m converted. I don’t know about the rest of you. Fucking bastard…
–F train, Rockefeller Center
Drunk guy: Do you dare me to lick this pole?
Girl: I don’t have my camera on me, so not right now. Maybe some other time.
–Queens-bound F train
Guy #1: I’ll be up in a minute. I’m just gonna have a smoke.
Guy #2, on speakerphone: Yo, I feel great!
Guy #1: Wait, so you’re not injured?
Guy #2: No, I have three screws in my leg… but no one’s getting arrested!
–Outside Lutheran Hospital
Overheard by: J-Dawg
