Theater fan: What would you say about a person who saw The Rocky Horror Picture Show only once and didn’t feel any need to see it again?
Tim Curry: I’d say that was a person who was in full possession of their senses.
–Actor’s Fund event, 52nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Big Larry
Guy: No, Tourettes have it better.
Girl: Yeah, they just spaz out.
–F train
Overheard by: Suriya Schmidt
Dude #1: Dude, I can’t believe it’s going to be like fucking minus eight tomorrow!
Dude #2: Shit. Isn’t freezing, like, 32?
Dude #1: Damn. That means it’s actually going to be like minus 40, right?
Dude #2: Yeah.
–Columbia University
Eager, straight-ish hipster dude to posse: We could ask gay guys which one of us they think is cuter…
Cute hipster friend: No, I always win that game.
–Pyramid, Ave A, between 6th & 7th St
Overheard by: Dan
Dude: I know you’re getting married, and I am totally happy for you, but if it doesn’t work out, I’m there for you.
Chick: Uh… Thanks.
Dude: I love girls that buy vibrators.
–4th & 6th
Overheard by: douglas G
Dude #1: My girlfriend is allergic to gluten.
Dude #2: Having a girlfriend with a food allergy is worse than having a girlfriend with a dick!
–11th St & Ave B
Guy #1, about babe passerby: Oooh, hey girl. Excuse me, miss? Miss! [Girl turns around.] Hello. How are you today? [Girl leaves.] Man, not even a hello! What the hell is wrong with women today?
Guy #2: I can’t believe you thought she’d actually talk to you.
Guy #1: Why? I’m good looking.
Guy #2: Dude, you’re wearing Tevas. Shut the fuck up.
–69th & Columbus
Chick: I have social anxiety.
Dude: Social anxiety? You played Jenga with my neighbors!
–Christy & Delancey
Overheard by: Tourist
20-something guy #1: I used to fuck guys like you in prison.
20-something guy #2: Please. If you had been to prison I don’t think that you would have been the one doing the fucking.
20-something guy #1: I guess that’s true.
20-something chick: Fucking morons.
–Delancey & Orchard
Overheard by: Bang-Around Bob
Guy #1: So, my uncle is having marriage problems. His wife found kiddie porn on his computer.
Guy #2: Damn… That shit’s illegal. Did she confront him about it?
Guy #1: Yeah… You know what he said to her?
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: ‘Well, I wouldn’t need to use it if you were prettier.’
–Ozzie’s, Lincoln & 7th Ave
Overheard by: augie
