Six drunks are standing around on the corner.
Woman: Now in German!
Drunks: Stille nacht, heilige nacht…
–St. Mark’s & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Jamie Wisneski & Megan
Six drunks are standing around on the corner.
Woman: Now in German!
Drunks: Stille nacht, heilige nacht…
–St. Mark’s & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Jamie Wisneski & Megan
White Muslim Woman: The women who were sitting here were laughing at me because of how I look. I’m a social worker. Some of my clients are OMRDD so I read lips real well. Because I’m Muslim they didn’t like my outfit. They think we don’t care about how we dress. I was actually Krishna before I was Muslim. The Christmas holidays, the spirit is supposed to be giving. My daughter’s Christian still. That’s why I’m laughing. In my house we used to have Kwanzaa, everything. I knew my husband for three years. I taught him English. I was his teacher! I just converted. Reversion, they call it. Then two weeks later we got married. English I taught him and he was teaching me Arabic. We met in a store ’cause they have restrictions about coming up to a woman’s apartment…They don’t think you understand English, but I speak Spanish and Italian. One time this lady said she thought I was disgusting. I told her “You’re disgusting!” in Spanish. I was peeing my pants. I was hysterical.
–D Train
10-year-old girl, looking at jack-o'-lantern: Look at Mr Pumpkinhead!
8-year-old girl: It's rude to call someone “pumpkinhead.”
10-year-old girl: It's not rude, he ain't got no legs!
8-year-old girl, singing to herself: Touch my money, I'll break your face…
–Pathmark, 145th St
Grandmother reading newspaper: Oh, it's grandparents' day tomorrow!
Grandfather: It can't be. That's in February, I think.
Grandmother: It says it right here.
Grandfather: But it has to be in winter, because he has to see his shadow!
–7 Train
Overheard by: Daniel
College girl #1: I want to go trick or treating now…
College girl #2: Yeah, totally.
College girl #1: I don't think anyone would give us candy though… We'd just get raped.
–Party City, 14th St & 5th Ave
Doctor #1: Who are you going on vacation with?
Doctor #2: My wife and my girlfriend.
–168th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Emm
Hipster #1: So they hooked up on the cruise. And he's like, eighteen. But she's meeting him anyway. Even though we told her not to.
Hipster #2: Um, yeah. Why is she even going? Like, fuck and chuck, man.
–Outside Fashion Institute of Technology
Bartender: Have any plans for the holiday weekend?
Middle aged guy: I plan to drink.
Bartender: Good plan.
–Bar, Grand Central
Frumpy female office worker, hanging up phone: Yes! He just asked me out!
Ordinary female office worker: Are you excited?
Frumpy female office worker: Are you kidding? I feel just like Sadie Hawkins on Sadie Hawkins day!
–Empire St. Bldg office
Overheard by: Tom
Undergrad student #1: The day after Valentine's Day is a holiday, right?
Undergrad student #2: Yeah, it's like Veterans Day or something.
Undergrad student #3: I think it's Martin Luther King's Day.
Undergrad student #1: I thought that was last month.
Undergrad student #3: No, February is Black History Month.
–St. John's University, Queens Campus