Woman #1: Are you going to be here for Christmas?
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For Thanksgiving?
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For–
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For–
Woman #2: Yah.
–Duane Reade, Greenwich Village
Woman #1: Are you going to be here for Christmas?
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For Thanksgiving?
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For–
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For–
Woman #2: Yah.
–Duane Reade, Greenwich Village
Woman buying camping equipment: Hi, I was wondering if you have any sleeping bags.
Clerk: Um, this is New York, we're not so big on camping. Is this for a photo shoot?
–Army Surplus Store
Letch: So, are you traveling for business or pleasure?
PYT: Neither, I’m going to see my mother.
–JFK Airport bar
Chick: So I said to him, “Your mom’s dead, so why don’t you chill with us on Mother’s Day?”
–Thompson & Houston
Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
Little boy: Mommy, I want this!
Mom: Do you want Santa to bring it for you?
Little boy: No, I want you to get it now.
–FAO Schwarz, 5th Avenue
Overheard by: CMC
Guy: Do you know that you have a cup of coffee on your roof?
Driver guy: Merry Christmas from Starbucks!
–Park Place & Church
Overheard by: Dirt “Chainsaw” Dog
Lady #1: Can you move?
Lady #2: I ain’t movin’ my cart! You shoulda waited for the next fucking train!
Lady #1: What? Do you care more about people or your cart?
Lady #2: Ma cart, bitch!
Lady #1: …No, you are the bitch!
Lady #2: That’s right, you da bitch!
Lady #1: This is my first train ride, this is fun!…And I learned a new word!
Man: Happy holidays, everyone!
–1 train
Woman #1: So she says, “I don’t want to celebrate Christmas.”
Woman #2: What, she worships the Devil now?
Woman #1: Yeah, I think so.
-Surprise Surprise, 3rd Avenue
Overheard by: Kat
Little girl: Daddy, daddy, will you buy me some Easter candy?
Father: No, sweetheart. We don’t celebrate Easter–we’re Jewish.
Little girl: But mommy buys me Easter candy!
Father: It’s not my fault your mother has abandoned her principles.
–Times Square
Ghetto woman: Did you go on vacation this year?
Ghetto man: No.
Ghetto woman: Why didn't you go on vacation?
Ghetto man: I can't go on vacation, I can't even go to the Bronx.
–Canal St
Overheard by: Romany
Man on cell: I have two phobias. The post office and the library. And you want me to go to the post office for you?
–University & 10th
College girl #1: What do you think is the saddest emotion or feeling?
College girl #2: I’m not sure, maybe fear.
College girl #1: Yeah, that’s a good one. Ya know, if we lived in Ethiopia you would have said hunger.
–71st between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Lizz Tooher
Girl: Yeah, I always wear black…I’m, like, scared of colors.
–Elevator, Parsons School of Design
Guy: Yo, that Hamburgler’s a scary motherfucker, ’cause you never know what that nigga be sayin’. He be all “robble robble robble robble” and shit!
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Tacologic
Woman: Holy crap, you scared the hell out of me. What are you supposed to be anyway, Hercules?
Man: I’m Thor. Mighty son of Odin.
–N train
Conductor: This is 33rd Street, please remember to take all personal belongings off with you, and let me be the first to wish you a merry Christmas!
–PATH train
Overheard by: elise n
Angry teen on cell: I'm not gonna pay 18 dollars for a wedgie!
–Lingerie Department, Macy's
Overheard by: me neither
Girl on cell: I don't have a problem with camping, but why do they have to give me a sleeping bag? Can't they give me linens? It's not like I'm not giving them an insignificant amount of money.
–W Broadway & Grand
Suit on cell: At first I was only making $30,000 a year, but last year I got shot in the foot, and then I got a $1,000 bonus, so now I'm making $32,000 a year. Shit!
–F Train
Overheard by: Brittany Smith
Loud woman on cell: I like and don't mind fucking you, but I need to get paid. I'm unemployed right now.
–108th & Broadway
Elevator operator for observatory, upon leaving: Please come again! We want your money.
–Empire State Building
Old guy in dark suit to young guy in dark suit: You're not embezzling money!
–48th & 8th
