Little boy: Mommy, I want this!
Mom: Do you want Santa to bring it for you?
Little boy: No, I want you to get it now.
–FAO Schwarz, 5th Avenue
Overheard by: CMC
Little boy: Mommy, I want this!
Mom: Do you want Santa to bring it for you?
Little boy: No, I want you to get it now.
–FAO Schwarz, 5th Avenue
Overheard by: CMC
Guy: Do you know that you have a cup of coffee on your roof?
Driver guy: Merry Christmas from Starbucks!
–Park Place & Church
Overheard by: Dirt “Chainsaw” Dog
Lady #1: Can you move?
Lady #2: I ain’t movin’ my cart! You shoulda waited for the next fucking train!
Lady #1: What? Do you care more about people or your cart?
Lady #2: Ma cart, bitch!
Lady #1: …No, you are the bitch!
Lady #2: That’s right, you da bitch!
Lady #1: This is my first train ride, this is fun!…And I learned a new word!
Man: Happy holidays, everyone!
–1 train
Woman #1: So she says, “I don’t want to celebrate Christmas.”
Woman #2: What, she worships the Devil now?
Woman #1: Yeah, I think so.
-Surprise Surprise, 3rd Avenue
Overheard by: Kat
Little girl: Daddy, daddy, will you buy me some Easter candy?
Father: No, sweetheart. We don’t celebrate Easter–we’re Jewish.
Little girl: But mommy buys me Easter candy!
Father: It’s not my fault your mother has abandoned her principles.
–Times Square
Ghetto woman: Did you go on vacation this year?
Ghetto man: No.
Ghetto woman: Why didn't you go on vacation?
Ghetto man: I can't go on vacation, I can't even go to the Bronx.
–Canal St
Overheard by: Romany
Man on cell: I have two phobias. The post office and the library. And you want me to go to the post office for you?
–University & 10th
College girl #1: What do you think is the saddest emotion or feeling?
College girl #2: I’m not sure, maybe fear.
College girl #1: Yeah, that’s a good one. Ya know, if we lived in Ethiopia you would have said hunger.
–71st between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Lizz Tooher
Girl: Yeah, I always wear black…I’m, like, scared of colors.
–Elevator, Parsons School of Design
Guy: Yo, that Hamburgler’s a scary motherfucker, ’cause you never know what that nigga be sayin’. He be all “robble robble robble robble” and shit!
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Tacologic
Woman: Holy crap, you scared the hell out of me. What are you supposed to be anyway, Hercules?
Man: I’m Thor. Mighty son of Odin.
–N train
Conductor: This is 33rd Street, please remember to take all personal belongings off with you, and let me be the first to wish you a merry Christmas!
–PATH train
Overheard by: elise n
Angry teen on cell: I'm not gonna pay 18 dollars for a wedgie!
–Lingerie Department, Macy's
Overheard by: me neither
Girl on cell: I don't have a problem with camping, but why do they have to give me a sleeping bag? Can't they give me linens? It's not like I'm not giving them an insignificant amount of money.
–W Broadway & Grand
Suit on cell: At first I was only making $30,000 a year, but last year I got shot in the foot, and then I got a $1,000 bonus, so now I'm making $32,000 a year. Shit!
–F Train
Overheard by: Brittany Smith
Loud woman on cell: I like and don't mind fucking you, but I need to get paid. I'm unemployed right now.
–108th & Broadway
Elevator operator for observatory, upon leaving: Please come again! We want your money.
–Empire State Building
Old guy in dark suit to young guy in dark suit: You're not embezzling money!
–48th & 8th
Guy: We came up on 6th Avenue so now we’re on 49th!
Girl: Does anybody know where the friggin’ tree is?
Woman: It’s on the fucking left!
–49th & 6th
Overheard by: Emma
Little girl: I hate that tree.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: melanie segal
Woman: The big Christmas tree is in Central Park, right?
Man: Yeah.
–1 train
Overheard by: Hilla
Woman #1: I got my grandmother the hugest card for Mother’s Day. She likes things that are really big.
Man: See, and they always told me that size doesn’t matter.
Woman #1: It really doesn’t matter what it says; she doesn’t understand English, anyway.
Woman #2: Do you think giving her the big card makes her understand it better the same way people think that talking louder to people who can’t speak English make them understand you?
–14th Street elevator
