We Agree with That Sentiment

Guy: Do you know that you have a cup of coffee on your roof?
Driver guy: Merry Christmas from Starbucks!

–Park Place & Church

Overheard by: Dirt “Chainsaw” Dog

Lady #1: Can you move?
Lady #2: I ain’t movin’ my cart! You shoulda waited for the next fucking train!
Lady #1: What? Do you care more about people or your cart?
Lady #2: Ma cart, bitch!
Lady #1: …No, you are the bitch!
Lady #2: That’s right, you da bitch!
Lady #1: This is my first train ride, this is fun!…And I learned a new word!
Man: Happy holidays, everyone!

–1 train

Woman #1: So she says, “I don’t want to celebrate Christmas.”
Woman #2: What, she worships the Devil now?
Woman #1: Yeah, I think so.

-Surprise Surprise, 3rd Avenue

Overheard by: Kat

Posted on October 15, 2014
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Brooklyn, Etiquette, Holidays, Nice People, On the Subway, Religion

They Pull You in With Candy –Then, Bam, You’re a Sinner!

Little girl: Daddy, daddy, will you buy me some Easter candy?
Father: No, sweetheart. We don’t celebrate Easter–we’re Jewish.
Little girl: But mommy buys me Easter candy!
Father: It’s not my fault your mother has abandoned her principles.

–Times Square

Posted on September 12, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Dads, Default, Food, Gifts, Girls, Holidays, Judaism, Kids, Offers and requests, Questions, Times Square, Wishes & desires

I Can Go to Jersey, But Who'd Want To?

Ghetto woman: Did you go on vacation this year?
Ghetto man: No.
Ghetto woman: Why didn't you go on vacation?
Ghetto man: I can't go on vacation, I can't even go to the Bronx.

–Canal St

Overheard by: Romany

Posted on September 5, 2014
Black People, Chinatown, Ghetto Chicks, Holidays, Questions, Travel

Get Ready to Be Afraid! (Happy Halloween)

Man on cell: I have two phobias. The post office and the library. And you want me to go to the post office for you?

–University & 10th

College girl #1: What do you think is the saddest emotion or feeling?
College girl #2: I’m not sure, maybe fear.
College girl #1: Yeah, that’s a good one. Ya know, if we lived in Ethiopia you would have said hunger.

–71st between 2nd & 3rd

Overheard by: Lizz Tooher

Girl: Yeah, I always wear black…I’m, like, scared of colors.

–Elevator, Parsons School of Design

Guy: Yo, that Hamburgler’s a scary motherfucker, ’cause you never know what that nigga be sayin’. He be all “robble robble robble robble” and shit!

–23rd & 6th

Overheard by: Tacologic

Woman: Holy crap, you scared the hell out of me. What are you supposed to be anyway, Hercules?
Man: I’m Thor. Mighty son of Odin.

–N train

Posted on August 31, 2014
Crazies, Elevators, Fears, Girls, Holidays, On Cell, Students, Wednesday One-Liners

Wednesday One-liners Watch the Calendar

Conductor: This is 33rd Street, please remember to take all personal belongings off with you, and let me be the first to wish you a merry Christmas!

–PATH train

Overheard by: elise n

Posted on August 30, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Conductors, Holidays, People, Places, Time, Topics, Trains Not Subway

Show Me the Wednesday One-Liners!

Angry teen on cell: I'm not gonna pay 18 dollars for a wedgie!

–Lingerie Department, Macy's

Overheard by: me neither

Girl on cell: I don't have a problem with camping, but why do they have to give me a sleeping bag? Can't they give me linens? It's not like I'm not giving them an insignificant amount of money.

–W Broadway & Grand

Suit on cell: At first I was only making $30,000 a year, but last year I got shot in the foot, and then I got a $1,000 bonus, so now I'm making $32,000 a year. Shit!

–F Train

Overheard by: Brittany Smith

Loud woman on cell: I like and don't mind fucking you, but I need to get paid. I'm unemployed right now.

–108th & Broadway

Elevator operator for observatory, upon leaving: Please come again! We want your money.

–Empire State Building

Old guy in dark suit to young guy in dark suit: You're not embezzling money!

–48th & 8th

Posted on August 13, 2014
9 to 5-ers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Customers, Girls, Guys, Harassment, Holidays, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, Prostitution, Questions, Sex, Shoot, Soho, Store, Street, Suits, Teens, Thievery, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Why Isn’t Blood Red an Easter Color?

Woman: Oh, look at these.
Man: They’re Easter colors.
Woman: I thought they were Shrek colors.

–Staples, Vesey & Broadway

Overheard by: Susan

Posted on August 13, 2014
Christianity, Customers, Film, Holidays, Men, Movies, Shopping, Soho, Stupidity, Women

Well, It’s Gone Now; Timber!

Guy: We came up on 6th Avenue so now we’re on 49th!
Girl: Does anybody know where the friggin’ tree is?
Woman: It’s on the fucking left!

–49th & 6th

Overheard by: Emma

Little girl: I hate that tree.

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: melanie segal

Woman: The big Christmas tree is in Central Park, right?
Man: Yeah.

–1 train

Overheard by: Hilla

Posted on August 8, 2014
Animals & Nature, Directions, Holidays, NYC Geography, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary, Weirdness

Don’t Forget Grandma Today Either!

Woman #1: I got my grandmother the hugest card for Mother’s Day. She likes things that are really big.
Man: See, and they always told me that size doesn’t matter.
Woman #1: It really doesn’t matter what it says; she doesn’t understand English, anyway.
Woman #2: Do you think giving her the big card makes her understand it better the same way people think that talking louder to people who can’t speak English make them understand you?

–14th Street elevator

Posted on August 7, 2014
Age/Aging, Creepsters, Elevators, Holidays, Idiots, Penis, Women

It’s a Very Overheard Christmas

Six drunks are standing around on the corner.

Woman: Now in German!
Drunks: Stille nacht, heilige nacht…

–St. Mark’s & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Jamie Wisneski & Megan

Posted on August 7, 2014
Drunks, Holidays, Union Square and East Village, Women

Holidays

Show Me the Wednesday One-Liners!