Guy: You know — it’s Dow Jones and NASDAQ.
Girl: Who are they? Those guys that died?
–14th & Park Ave South
Guy: You know — it’s Dow Jones and NASDAQ.
Girl: Who are they? Those guys that died?
–14th & Park Ave South
Chick: I liked it. It wasn’t like, ‘Aw, too bad, it’s the Holocaust.’ It was more like, ‘Yeah! The Holocaust!’
Friend: Plus, it didn’t make me feel guilty about thinking Nazis are hot.
–AMC Theatres
Overheard by: Kelly
Man, about others yelling in street: Yo! This is just like reality TV, man!
Passerby: You mean reality is?
Man: Uh…
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Maggie
Girl #1, studying for math exam: I still don’t get it.
Girl #2: What I’m saying is that this statement has nothing to do with a croissant coming out of my ass.
Girl #1: Oh, okay.
Girl #2: Yeah, that’s the only way I can remember how to do the problem.
–Marymount Manhattan College
Customer: Do you sell Lacoste here?
Sales associate: No, but they have a door right down on Spring Street.
Customer: How do I get there?
Sales associate: You go out our front door, make a right, and at the intersection make a left and the Lacoste store is right around the corner.
Customer: And they sell Lacoste there?
–Bloomingdales, Soho
Professor: What’s the second largest profession in the U.S.?
Jersey dude: Prostitutes!
–NYU
Bimbette #1: So, like, for my essay I wrote about the Jew migration in the 19th century…
Bimbette #2: Oh my god, what Jew migration?! You mean, like, oh my god — like Moses leading them out of Egypt like in the Red Sea?!
–Oakland Gardens, Queens
Chick: Have you ever read Catch 22?
Guy: Was it written by Dr. Seuss?
Chick: No.
Guy: Then no.
–Pace University
Overheard by: Hugh
Tourist hubby to wifey who jumped up from taking a seat: What happened?
Tourist woman, disgusted: I just saw some dirt!
–4 train
Hipster girl, about shoes: Cool, there’s a cow on the side.
Hipster boy: No, it’s a sheep.
Hipster girl: Oh.
Hipster boy: Well, whatever — it’s bovine.
–Beacon’s Closet, Williamsburg
Overheard by: hipster shopper
