Four-year-old boy: Mommy, why don’t nobody look at each other on the train?
Mother: ‘Cause they ugly.
–G train
Four-year-old boy: Mommy, why don’t nobody look at each other on the train?
Mother: ‘Cause they ugly.
–G train
Bus driver, just before departing for Boston: Peace, love, and if no one's said it to you today, I love you.
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Nina
Bus driver: Hello? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? If so, you're too close to the front. Move to the back of the bus, back of the bus…I'll be here til 2 in the morning, I have plenty of time.
–M86 Bus
Overheard by: urbanadventurer
MTA bus driver to woman with a kid: Excuse me, you have to pay for your kid to ride this train. See the line where your hand is? If he is shorter than that line, then he doesn't have to pay. But he is taller, and he has to pay. (woman and kid walk off bus, now he addresses passengers) But on a lighter note, happy New Year.
–M86 Train
Overheard by: Melissa
Bus driver of crowded bus: This is Madison avenue. Get off! I mean…watch your step.
–Bus, 86th St
Overheard by: Michael
Bus driver: This is the last stop, Queens Center. If you are going shopping today, I hope you find everything you are looking for. Also, please be nice to the salespeople. It's not easy dealing with people day after day. I should know, I'm a bus driver.
–Q88 Bus
Overheard by: Jenn
A small boy on the bus is flicking a flashlight.
Boy: Laser!
Geeky guy across the aisle: I think that’s shaped more like a light saber.
Boy: Light saber!
–M104 bus
Overheard by: Andrew
Little boy in stroller: What’s a marathon?
Mom: It’s like one show after another.
–W 4th & Sullivan
Overheard by: Leslie G.
Yellow poncho wearing dad to nine-year-old daughter: Relax!
Yellow poncho wearing nine-year-old daughter: You relax! This was obviously your idea and now we look ridiculous!
–5th Ave & 42nd St
Overheard by: Mike B
Precocious little girl: Mom, that lady is grooming the dog groomer!
Pretentious mom: That makes sense. Do you see how some of the dog show women dress themselves? Would you want to be caught dead in some of their clothes and makeup?
Precocious little girl: No.
–Westminster Dog Show Grooming Area
Overheard by: Wouldn't Be Caught Dead Either
Guy #1, discussing Plaxico Burress: Who the hell would name their kid “Plaxico”? Sounds like the name of an equine.
Guy #2: A what?
Guy #1: A horse, nigga.
Guy #2: Sheeeit!
–Whitehall & Water
Overheard by: PJ P.
Mother to eight-year-old daughter, gesturing to hipsters: You know why they wear those tight pants?
Eight-year-old daughter : No, why?
Mother: They got no dick. No boner in those pants.
–Lorimer & Metropolitan, Williamsburg
Son: Dad, can we buy Popsicles?
Dad: Why don’t we make our own at home?
Son: Yay! I want to make seltzer flavor!
Dad, sighing: Well, that would just be an ice cube.
–C-Town, Park Slope
Overheard by: Hiland
Little boy to mom: What do you mean, I’ll appreciate them one day? I’ll like bras?
Little girl: My mom’s boyfriend likes bras, and he’s only twenty-two.
–Victoria’s Secret
Overheard by: Juliette
