Tourists Are Smiling at Us!

Yellow poncho wearing dad to nine-year-old daughter: Relax!
Yellow poncho wearing nine-year-old daughter: You relax! This was obviously your idea and now we look ridiculous!

–5th Ave & 42nd St

Overheard by: Mike B

Posted on January 9, 2015
Clothing, Dads, Families, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Parents

Remember That Oath Your Kindergarten Class Took at Bloomingdale's

Precocious little girl: Mom, that lady is grooming the dog groomer!
Pretentious mom: That makes sense. Do you see how some of the dog show women dress themselves? Would you want to be caught dead in some of their clothes and makeup?
Precocious little girl: No.

–Westminster Dog Show Grooming Area

Overheard by: Wouldn't Be Caught Dead Either

Posted on January 9, 2015
Clothing, Death, Kids, Makeup, Man's Best Friend, Moms, Parades & Festitivites, Parents, Questions

That Daniel Radcliffe Play Has Made Us All Smarter

Guy #1, discussing Plaxico Burress: Who the hell would name their kid “Plaxico”? Sounds like the name of an equine.
Guy #2: A what?
Guy #1: A horse, nigga.
Guy #2: Sheeeit!

–Whitehall & Water

Overheard by: PJ P.

Posted on January 8, 2015
Animals & Nature, Football, Insults, Kids, Names, Questions, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Words

Whereas Clowns Are Hung Like Bears

Mother to eight-year-old daughter, gesturing to hipsters: You know why they wear those tight pants?
Eight-year-old daughter : No, why?
Mother: They got no dick. No boner in those pants.

–Lorimer & Metropolitan, Williamsburg

Posted on January 8, 2015
Clothing, Kids, Moms, Penis, Questions, Weirdness, Williamsburg

Then Buy Me a Fucking Popsicle Already

Son: Dad, can we buy Popsicles?
Dad: Why don’t we make our own at home?
Son: Yay! I want to make seltzer flavor!
Dad, sighing: Well, that would just be an ice cube.

–C-Town, Park Slope

Overheard by: Hiland

Posted on January 7, 2015
Comebacks, Dads, Food, Home, Sweet Home, Kids, Park Slope, Questions

Well, Okay, but I Still Don’t Get It

Little boy to mom: What do you mean, I’ll appreciate them one day? I’ll like bras?
Little girl: My mom’s boyfriend likes bras, and he’s only twenty-two.

–Victoria’s Secret

Overheard by: Juliette