JAP #1: So then he like…stuck his stick up her hoo-ha!
JAP #2: Like in her area? You mean he went for the cash and prizes?
JAP #1: Yeah! So he like… hit her there with his stick, and she spun around and was like, “What the fuck?”, but then was like, “Oh, you’re blind.” But I don’t care. It’s fucked up.
–University & Waverly
Overheard by: tj
Drunk guy on cell: Hello?
Lady on speaker: Larry, where are you? When are you coming home?
Drunk guy on cell: Who’s this?
–Russian Vodka Room, West 52nd Street
Suit #1: I’ve never had a hooker before.
Suit #2: Neither have I but I feel ready now.
–Bleecker & Grove
Overheard by: ED Aston
Girl #1: It would be so crazy if we were all in an alternate universe and then saw ourselves hanging out here like we always do.
Guy: Then you would have to have sex with yourself.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: I mean, if I could have sex with myself, I probably would.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Adrienne Walters
Little girl: Mommy, do you have veins in your head?
Mom: Of course you do. That’s how Grandma died; a big vein in her brain exploded.
–Starbucks, 54th & Broadway
Overheard by: Glynnis O
Lady #1: Hey, do you remember how that conversation with Jim started today?
Lady #2: Um, honestly, no.
Lady #1: Well, fuck you then! Ginka balinka, Alzheimer’s bitch!
–Office, Greenwich & Beach
Mom: Did she tell you to pee in your pants?
Little girl: No.
Mom: Then she didn’t make you.
–Tompkins Square Park
Man: Those are some fine-lookin’ sweaters!
Old lady: Do you like them? I made them, you know.
Man: You made those?
Old lady: I did.
Man: Do you think you could make one for him?
Old lady: I would be delighted!
Man: But, you know…I mean…like, for a boy chihuahua.
–11th & B
Overheard by: Stephanie Matthew-Diaz
Girl #1: What? What are you talking about? I’m talking about the Johnny Cash song, A Boy Named Sue!
Girl #2: And I’m talking about my dog being a cross-dresser.
–27th & 7th
Woman on cell: Hold on, I have to juggle, I’m pushing a stroller, walking the dog and holding a big bag of poop.
–189th & Broadway
Drunk girl: What kind of guys do you like?…What kind of guys do you like? I like guys with big tits.
–2nd Avenue & 11th Street
Overheard by: vegantoast
