Black chick #1: You know what’s the funniest birthday card I ever read?
Black chick #2: What?
Black chick #1: “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, happy birthday to you, I hope you bust a nut.”
Black chick #2: Yeah, on your birthday you gotta cum.
–Duane Reade, Penn Station
Overheard by: Turby
White chick to black chick: That’s a cute bag. It would be, if it were real.
Black chick: Bitch, it ain’t fake, it’s stolen!
–14th & 8th
Guy: Remember when your shit was all yellow and shit? Remember that? What happened then?
Girl: I DON’T CARE!
–Broadway & Grand
Man: Miss! You are so beautiful! Your eyes! Your hair! Are you interested in modeling?
Chick: Uh–
Man: I love the way you walk. Imagine! Down a runway!
Chick: It’s because my heel is broken, you fuckhead.
–59th & Lexington
Overheard by: Passerby
Thirtysomething mom on cell: That boy of your is too fat. [Pause] Well, you keep feeding him hamburgers. That’s why he has titties. He’s an A-cup.
–M15 bus
Guy #1: Anyways, how’s Coco?
Guy #2: I don’t have Coco anymore man. I got a new dog.
Guy #1: Really? What happened to Coco?
Guy #2: Coco hung himself.
–Waverly & Mercer
Overheard by: Noah Lagin
Woman: Hey, that looks like my metallic vagina sculpture.
–Karkula, Gansevoort St
Overheard by: stampy
Loud girl: I would like to see something a little bit more modern. This isn’t modern enough for me.
–MoMA
Chick #1: NYU is taking over the city. Soon they’re gonna have to
start calling it “New York” City.
Chick #2: It’s already called New York City!
–4th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kelly Raz
Girl #1: I don’t normally carry a bag of vomit with me as a weapon.
Girl #2: We should market that.
–54th & 7th
Guy #1: Do you have a light?
Guy #2: I don’t think you should smoke, this is a cancer walk.
Guy #1: Yes, but it’s not for lung cancer.
–South Street Seaport
