Journalism professor: Can anyone, for extra credit, give me two words to describe this day that will go down in history?
Silence
Professor: I’ll give you a clue — it has to do with President Bush.
Random student: “Mission accomplished!”
Girl #1 to her friend: Mission Impossible? What does Tom Cruise have to do with Bush?
Girl #2: Yeah, I know, that movie isn’t even out yet!
–Silver Center, NYU
Columbia girl: I can’t believe the 1 is skipping all the stops from 96th to 145th.
Guy: I know. You’ll have to transfer at 145th for the downtown.
Subway stops at 145th.
Columbia girl: Is this where Manhattan ends?
–1 train
Drunk guy: Why should I invite you up to my apartment?
Drunk girl: Because I’m beautiful ASSHOLE!
–80th & 2nd
Wheelchair guy: Hey, let me see that football.
Dude: No, sorry.
Wheelchair guy: What, are you afraid I’m going to run away with it?
–125th & Lexington
Overheard by: brian corcoran
Two tourists spot the people camped out in front of the Mexican Consulate.
Tourist #1: Are all those people trying to get tickets to a concert or something?
Tourist #2: Maybe. Do you think that’s Radio City?
–39th & Madison
Lady: Excuse me, can I borrow a light?
Tanktop girl: Sure.
Lady: Thank you so much. [Turns and whispers to guy she’s with:] See, I told you. I think if you’re nice to them, they’re nice to you.
Tanktop girl: Tourists are so cute.
–Outside Welcome to the Johnsons, Rivington & Norfolk
Overheard by: djlindee
Girl: So was he, like, a player?
Guy: Who, Charlie?
Girl: No, that Genghis Khan guy.
–114th & Amsterdam
Drunk guy: Lemme get a bacon, egg, and cheese.
Cashier: Sorry, we don’t have bacon.
Drunk guy: Can I have it on a bagel then?
Cashier: That’s not the problem. We don’t have any bacon.
Drunk guy: Can I just have a bacon, egg and cheese?
Cashier: Sir, there is no bacon, ok?
Drunk guy: Can I just have your number then?
–Dunkin’ Donuts, 83rd St.
Overheard by: Maunica
Girl #1: …so, my professor started talking about The Diary of Anne Frank.
Girl #2: Oh, Anne Frank! I used to love her! I had the diary, the notebooks and the pencils and everything.
Queer: What?
Girl #1: I think she means Lisa Frank.
–27th & 7th
Man: With this many books you are almost certain to make a mistake in your choice.
–The Strand
Overheard by: Jill A.
