Trendy young mom #1: Well, everyone wants their kid to guest-appear on Sesame Street.
Trendy young mom #2: Oh, yeah?
–2nd Floor, MoMA
Overheard by: Krashaunda
Trendy young mom #1: Well, everyone wants their kid to guest-appear on Sesame Street.
Trendy young mom #2: Oh, yeah?
–2nd Floor, MoMA
Overheard by: Krashaunda
High school girl #1: Oh my god, I hate her, like, I have never hated anyone more.
High school girl #2: I know! She is such a slut. (pause) We're talking about Chantel, right?
High school girl #1: No, I was talking about Lacey. (pause) You think Chantel is a slut?
–Outside MoMA
Woman #1: Ever since she left the church, there’s a big hole in her life.
Woman #2: Which she fills with cock.
–MoMA
Overheard by: Luc
Out-of-town poser #1 looking at Condoleezza Rice painting: Look, they painted Satan!
Out-of-town poser #2: Shhh! Someone’ll hear you!
Out-of-town poser #1: Pshaw. I don’t have to be quiet in New York City. Everyone agrees with me.
–MoMA
Guy #1: Whose job is it to mix up the Rubik’s Cube for those competitions?
Guy #2: You mean, like a Rubik’s Cube fluffer?
Guy #1: That’s a good name for a band.
–MoMA
Little boy pointing at painting: Mama, why are there so many colors?
Mother: Shit, ain’t you color-bind or somethin’?
–MoMA
Little boy staring at photo of upside-down, topless stripper: Daddy, what is she doing?
Visibly uncomfortable father: Uh… she’s exercising.
Little boy: But why is she naked? Is it because she got hot?
Father: Uh… yes. Let’s go find those Monets.
–MoMA
Overheard by: Alejandra
Guy walking by himself: I wish everybody who is not mentally ill would just drop dead!
–9th St, Park Slope
Overheard by: Rear Admiral Butts
Guy (admiringly, to attractive girl passing by): Damn, girl, I wish you were a guy!
–14th St & 1st Ave
Ditzy girl to another, about her boyfriend: He's teaching himself philosophy right now. He bought a philosophy dictionary. He can do that, you know, because he's so smart. I wish I could do that!
–Astoria
Overheard by: squarehand
Young guy to girl: Dude, I wish Dali was still around so he could do my album.
–Museum of Modern Art
Overheard by: Gino
Serious girl: I wish I had gotten the ovaries!
–Korean Baptist Church, Astoria
Overheard by: Evan
Husband: I can't fucking believe you fell asleep while I was making love to you.
Wife: Yeah, well maybe if your dick was bigger, I would be more inclined to stay up!
(pause)
Husband: Maybe we should get a divorce.
Wife: Why? So you can bore some hot 20-something into falling asleep on your dick?
–In line, MOMA
Headline by: Baby
Runners-Up:
· “Cathy Once Again Uses Her Overwhelming Logic to Get Out Of Divorce” – Erica
· “Isn’t That What Roofies Are For?” – KJM
· “Narcolepsy Destroys Families.” – KJM
· “She Called It His “Snooze Button”” – Taylor-Like-Woah
· “The One Conversation That Every Married Couple Has Had at Least Once” – I know I have
· “This Performance Art Piece Will Be Here All Week” – TV
Tween girl: My dad flies into New York airport tonight; where is that?
Tween boy: It’s in Jersey.
Tween girl: Idiot! It’s New York airport.
Tween boy: It’s Newark airport, and it’s in Jersey.
Tween girl: New York airport and it’s in New Jersey? That’s gay.
Tween boy: You’re gay.
Tween girl: Shut up! We’re at the museum!
–outside MoMA
