Bus driver: Anyone on here who speaks Russian? I need someone to tell this lady that her transfer is already on the card. Anyone on here who speaks Russian?…Please tell her that her transfer is on the card.
Woman: The transfer is on your card.
Bus driver: In Russian! In Russian! I coulda told her that in English!
–B82 bus
Chick #1: Do you have a book called White Supremacy by Fredrickson?
Store guy: No.
Chick #1: Can you see if any other Barnes & Noble has it?
Store guy: No, none in Manhattan. I take it it’s for a class or something?
Chick #1: No, it’s for my own, uh, personal knowledge. Thanks anyway.
Store guy: Sure.
Chick #2: I need a book of art or photographs by crazy people.
–Barnes & Noble, Astor Place
Next Wednesday, 2/22, the Overheard staff–both of us–will be reading and signing the new Overheard in New York book at the above location. It starts at 7.
Girl on cell: I shit you not, it was a small studio apartment converted into a four bedroom on the 6th floor.
–47th & 9th
Fat suit on cell: How many people play the drums in Poland, really?…What? Wow. Cool. Well, plenty of time to practice I guess.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Max T-M
MTV chick: When I used to read, I went from the last chapter to the first.
–MTV cafeteria
Hipster: They’re always on the same train, so the first time you give them money, then remember your face. Every time you get on the train after that, they’ll follow you around. It’s like having your own 6-foot pet!
–1 train
Overheard by: spike
Black guy: …And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
White guy: Are you trying to mug me or what?
–7 train, 74th St Roosevelt
Dude: Is she a stripper?
Girl: I don’t think so. Although she does hang around a lot of French people.
Dude: What about the guy…is he French?
Girl: Must be. He smells like hardwood floors.
–Union Square
Woman #1: But not all Asian girls are pretty.
Woman #2: Oh I know, but he just thinks that, on a scale of 1-10, Asian girls start off with like a +10.
Woman #1: Oh, well that’s good, because most white guys just see that they’re Asian and don’t consider whether they’re really pretty or not.
–78th & Lexington
Suit: So, you wanna bring the strippers to paintball?
–45th St & Ave of the Americas
Suit: They are not stupid people, even though they are from the Midwest.
–53rd & Park
Overheard by: MJ
Suit: We’re meeting in conference room G, but there’s still blood in there from the last meeting.
–53rd & Park
Overheard by: Russo
Suit whispering baby talk into another’s ear: Freddie, wash my butthole.
–Brooklyn-bound Q train
Late-50s suit to another: My next-door neighbors, they don’t know how to communicate with their Mexicans.
–N & R platform, 49th St
Overheard by: Wish I could have heard more
Suit to another: I don’t care what they say — once a french maid, always a french maid.
–Rockefeller Center
Suit on cell: If it wasn’t for goat’s milk I don’t know how I would’ve made it through college.
–45th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: y2jon
Guy: I’o’really mess with Queens, or people from Queens. [pause] 130th Street and 5th Ave, that shit is mad weird! You ever been to his house! That shit is mad white! You never gonna get in a fight there. [pause] Who eats ketchup — by is’self?
–Puebla Mexican Food & Coffee Shop, 1st Ave between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: C-Dub
Man: If you wanna have lunch, you’ve got to have lunch here, whether it’s Chinese or Subway.
–Canal St
Overheard by: Aahlixx
Little boy: Does all Chinese food come from Chinatown?
–Williamsburg
Woman: It’s like listening to an Arab speaking Spanish talking about the Chinese.
–W Train
Overheard by: Bluto
Tourist: The Chinese are notorious for blurring the line between pet and soup.
–Chinatown
Queen picking up delivery: Damn, I hate dealing with these Chinese people, they never be understanding English good!
–Fordham dorms, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: I don’t understand you either
Ghetto guy: Sushi is real Chinese food.
–23rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: John Wu
Hipster Chinese girl on cell: Americans have too much freedom. Yes, too much freedom.
–52nd & Madison
Teen girl #1:The guy with the blond hair, is he English?
Teen girl #2: No, he’s Jewish.
Teen girl #1: I hate Halloween.
–CVS, 4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: johnozed
