Effeminate guy on cell phone: …And we don’t want any fat German ladies
in the house.
–Post office, 23rd and Lex
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Effeminate guy on cell phone: …And we don’t want any fat German ladies
in the house.
–Post office, 23rd and Lex
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Guy with headphones to passerby in the rain: I hate that umbrella! I’m gonna break that umbrella! I’m gonna knock that umbrella out of your hands!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Letting go of the umbrella
Teen boy to another teen boy: I really hate my mom because she grounds me all the time, that’s why I got grounded.
–B44 bus, Nostrand Ave & Ave Y
Overheard by: o_O
JAP: And so he was like, ‘Wanna go make out?’ and I was like, ‘Okay,’ so we did and that was fun or whatever, but I don’t know… We don’t actually like each other at all, we really can’t stand each other.
–The Tea Lounge, 7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: mortalfool411
Black female after being insulted by a Black male clerk in a store: I hate Black people.
–Graham Avenue, Brooklyn
Suit: Fuckin’ guy, that fuckin’ attorney. I hate him. I hate ’em all. Myself too, I shouldn’t have gone to law school. He probably hates himself, unless he’s too fuckin’ stupid to regret it. We’re all a bunch of miserable self-loathing fucks, nobody likes attorneys.
–J & R, Park Row
Crazy yelling bitch: He’s a hater, I’m telling you he’s a fucking hater! What? No I fucking hate him.
–33rd & 8th
Overheard by: devila
Girl on cell: What? With pills? Why’d he do that? Because everyone hates him?
–62nd & 2nd
Overheard by: Ralph
Chick on cell: Yeah, I’ll put a tarp down, but everyone spraypaints on the roof. There’s graffiti all over it ’cause it’s the ghetto. There’s crackheads everywhere, so no one’s going to care about some little White girl with a spray can.
–7 train
Overheard by: Ani Sin
Thug kid: Yo man, Welsh is the place to be. They drink as much as the Irish, but they don’t got the rep for it yet.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Pegs Landing
Latina: My sister married a Puerto Rican, my brother married a Puerto Rican, I don’t wanna marry no Puerto Rican. I wanna step up–marry some White guy.
–42nd & 3rd
Crazy Black man: I ain’t sucking on Whitey’s balls! Are you? I ain’t playin with Whitey’s dick! Are you?
–Union Square
Guy: I’ve never seen an English porn. It’s probably bad teeth and fish
‘n chips and stuff.
–27th Street office
Man on cell: Do you hear all this noise? You’d never hear people honking their horns like that in Singapore…it’s considered to be insulting!
–23rd & 6th
Bus driver: Anyone on here who speaks Russian? I need someone to tell this lady that her transfer is already on the card. Anyone on here who speaks Russian?…Please tell her that her transfer is on the card.
Woman: The transfer is on your card.
Bus driver: In Russian! In Russian! I coulda told her that in English!
–B82 bus
Chick #1: Do you have a book called White Supremacy by Fredrickson?
Store guy: No.
Chick #1: Can you see if any other Barnes & Noble has it?
Store guy: No, none in Manhattan. I take it it’s for a class or something?
Chick #1: No, it’s for my own, uh, personal knowledge. Thanks anyway.
Store guy: Sure.
Chick #2: I need a book of art or photographs by crazy people.
–Barnes & Noble, Astor Place
Next Wednesday, 2/22, the Overheard staff–both of us–will be reading and signing the new Overheard in New York book at the above location. It starts at 7.
Girl on cell: I shit you not, it was a small studio apartment converted into a four bedroom on the 6th floor.
–47th & 9th
Fat suit on cell: How many people play the drums in Poland, really?…What? Wow. Cool. Well, plenty of time to practice I guess.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Max T-M
MTV chick: When I used to read, I went from the last chapter to the first.
–MTV cafeteria
Hipster: They’re always on the same train, so the first time you give them money, then remember your face. Every time you get on the train after that, they’ll follow you around. It’s like having your own 6-foot pet!
–1 train
Overheard by: spike
Black guy: …And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
White guy: Are you trying to mug me or what?
–7 train, 74th St Roosevelt
Dude: Is she a stripper?
Girl: I don’t think so. Although she does hang around a lot of French people.
Dude: What about the guy…is he French?
Girl: Must be. He smells like hardwood floors.
–Union Square
Woman #1: But not all Asian girls are pretty.
Woman #2: Oh I know, but he just thinks that, on a scale of 1-10, Asian girls start off with like a +10.
Woman #1: Oh, well that’s good, because most white guys just see that they’re Asian and don’t consider whether they’re really pretty or not.
–78th & Lexington
Suit: So, you wanna bring the strippers to paintball?
–45th St & Ave of the Americas
Suit: They are not stupid people, even though they are from the Midwest.
–53rd & Park
Overheard by: MJ
Suit: We’re meeting in conference room G, but there’s still blood in there from the last meeting.
–53rd & Park
Overheard by: Russo
Suit whispering baby talk into another’s ear: Freddie, wash my butthole.
–Brooklyn-bound Q train
Late-50s suit to another: My next-door neighbors, they don’t know how to communicate with their Mexicans.
–N & R platform, 49th St
Overheard by: Wish I could have heard more
Suit to another: I don’t care what they say — once a french maid, always a french maid.
–Rockefeller Center
Suit on cell: If it wasn’t for goat’s milk I don’t know how I would’ve made it through college.
–45th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: y2jon
