HS girl: I didn’t want to listen to my dad explain sex to my mom.
HS boy: Why would your dad explain sex to your mom?
HS girl: Because my brother asked what the song, “Come my lady, come, come my lady” meant. And mom didn’t know.
HS boy: What does that song have to do with sex?
HS girl: You don’t know? You’re the only person in the world who doesn’t know.
HS boy: Your brother didn’t know.
HS girl: My brother is 7.
–M104 bus
Overheard by: Susan Elliott
Guy #1: My iPod called me a homo this morning.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: I had it on shuffle and it played a nonstop string of Rent, Oklahoma, Barbara Streisand, Donna Summer and, best of all, Annie: The Musical.
Guy #2: Wow, you said, “Best of all, Annie.” That’s amazingly gay.
–34th between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: cityhick
Woman: They need to play more Rufus Wainwright. I only hear him on WFUV.
Man: Don’t you mean W-G-A-Y?
Woman: Oh, that was tactful.
–Spade’s Noodles, Rice & More, 3rd Avenue
Woman: We were playing Christmas music last night. If you listen to the words, a lot of those songs really mean something.
–Rockefeller Center
Yuppie girl #1: God, this train is so crowded.
Yuppie girl #2: I hate it when the train is packed like this.
Yuppie girl #1: I just want to shove people, but there’s nowhere to shove them to, it’s so crowded.
Guy: Whoa, peace on earth, goodwill toward men, everyone just settle down.
–1 train
The man was white, wearing a punk leather jacket and a beret like Saddam Hussein, and had a goatie. He stands up and says: I like Eminem ’cause he can talk his way out of trouble in the black neighborhoods. You’ve heard of oreos, black on the outside, white on the inside? Well I’m a chocolate chip cookie, and I’ll take a toll on
your house!
Man: Uzis are made in Israel but in the hands of blacks on the street. Go figure. Why don’t they do a study about how that happens at NYU, aka NYJew!
Man: Wake the fuck up, America! France pronounces its words better than us, even in their rap music!
Man: Why don’t they play flutes at the orchestra? It’s just a bunch of bam bam bam…Might as well be at a AC/DC concert. ‘Cause they’re afraid it’s too gay! You know in Germany they call it the “queer-flute,”; I used to play flute and I ain’t no fuckin’ queer. Now I just keep my flute in a box, and I’m not making a dirty joke and no, I don’t play the skin flute!
–A train
Overheard by: Dave Smith
Girl #1: Where do bands come off charging 70 bucks a ticket?
Girl #2: Maybe they’re really great.
Girl #1: Well, I think I’m really great, and I don’t charge people to see me.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Jennifer LaBianca
Guy: You know that song If I Had a Hammer? Who sings that?
Girl: The Carpenters?
–South Street Seaport
Girl: Who’s that on your t-shirt?
Guy: Well, it says “New York Dolls”…
Girl: Is that Led Zeppelin?
Guy: Um, no, it’s the New York fucking Dolls!
Girl: Asshole.
–Beauty Bar, East 14th Street
Man: I’m kind of disturbed by the fact that I’ve wanted to listen to Morrissey lately.
Woman: We can go back to my place and listen to Morrissey later.
Man: No one has sex to Morrissey.
–The Raven, Avenue A
Guy: So what songs do you have on your iPod?
–3rd Avenue & 10th Street
Overheard by: jessica castro
