Suit to other suit: They drive it through the city in milk trucks so that no one will know.
–6th between 55th & 56th
Overheard by: Ann M. Hetzel
Queer on cell: Sunday? Well, I hate to say this out loud on a cell phone where the authorities can hear, but. . . that’s Tonys night.
–Broadway & 33rd, Astoria
Overheard by: lily carver
Guy: I went to high school with you. I was a senior when you were a freshman. I used to look at your pantylines in gym class.
–Kevin St. James, 46th & 8th
Man on cell: I love you baby, but I just can’t be looking at your face everyday like that.
–Union Square
Guy to friend: She had that ugly-ass quality about her.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Sarah
Guy: I mean, why spend my money to put up bail when she’s just going to wind up doing time anyway?
–B train
Overheard by: Dianora
Chick on cell: The thing is, he doesn’t freeze meat. Yeah, it’s an issue.
–22nd & 8th
Overheard by: Sebastian White
Girl on cell: It’s Fleet Week here, so I’m getting laid.
–47th & Broadway
Overheard by: Rachel
Girl to sailor: Well, without your hat you’re fucking ugly!
–MacDougal & Bleeker
Teen on cell: So how do I get to your office? Wait, which way is east? Towards the river? What river? I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF TIMES SQUARE, I DON’T SEE A FUCKIN RIVER! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ASK SOMEONE WHERE THE FUCKING RIVER IS? MANHATTAN’S AN ISLAND, THERE’S RIVER ALL OVER THE PLACE!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Girl on cell: Ugh, so I’m headed to the subway now. I just had to do this job where we were working with a construction crew so of course they were like “let’s give the bull dyke all the construction work.” And I’m like, I don’t know how to fucking use power tools.
–5th Ave & E 39th
Guy on cell: Yeah….it was a crazy night. Well, we were drinking wine….and, well, you know….one thing lead to another and pretty soon all four of us were in bed together.
–HSBC ATM, Times Square
Man on cell: I tried to call you yesterday but you weren’t home. Where were you? What? Colonoscopy? Did he at least buy you flowers and talk dirty to you? Sorry, yeah that was out of line. I’ll cut the crap now. Oh, ha, ha, I just made an unintended pun. No…no, sorry, man…hello? Hello?
–Penn Station, LIRR waiting area
Girl on cell: I feel so dirty…He rubbed oil all over my body. He’s short, but he has blue eyes…so hot…I’d let him crawl all over me!
–Hoboken PATH
Old blind woman singing for money in the train: I’ll rub hot oil all over your body … and God bless the child, that’s got his own, that’s got his own.
–F train downtown
Hobo lady: I been pussy fucked; I been ass fucked; I been titty fucked–and that was fun–but there ain’t no love like the love of Jesus.
–M15 bus
Overheard by: Ben Beckley
Girl on cell: Hey [Kate], it’s [Angie]. I was just wondering what the fuck I did last night. Call me later.
–Henry Street & Love Lane, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: sarah
Girl on cell: Apparently, I took my pants off.
–Queens Blvd & 59th St, Queens
Overheard by: Nina
