Girl #1: I noticed his abs.
Girl #2: I noticed his ripped shirt.
Girl #3: Wait, so neither of you noticed his huge erection?
–F train
Overheard by: Michelle
Girl #1: I noticed his abs.
Girl #2: I noticed his ripped shirt.
Girl #3: Wait, so neither of you noticed his huge erection?
–F train
Overheard by: Michelle
Drunk man: Where are all my taxes going?! To housing for people who can only make over $60,000 a year?! I don’t wanna pay for a stadium! Mayor Bloomberg is an asshole! The elections are coming up, people!
Business guy: So why don’t you run for office?
Drunk man: I ain’t running for office! I want the people to know! The elections are coming up! Bloomberg is an asshole!
Business guy: And who’d you vote for?
Drunk man: I didn’t vote! I was on parole!…I ain’t on parole anymo’!
–Brooklyn bound J train
Overheard by: Cara
Asian queen #1: First I shampoo and then I rinse and then I shampoo and then I rinse and then I condition and then I shampoo and then I condition and then I rinse.
Asian queen #2: The problem is that you’re telling your hair what it wants. You’re not asking your hair what it wants.
–Uptown 2 train
DVD hawker: I got Superman, X-Men III, all high quality.
Guy: Those are illegal! You’re stealing from me. I’m a writer.
DVD hawker: What? Did you write any of these?
Guy: You’re selling illegal goods. I’m a writer. You’re stealing from me!
DVD hawker: If you wrote any of these movies, you wouldn’t be riding the subway.
–Uptown E train
Thug guy: Son, he was pissed. She swallowed his cousin’s babies, but she wouldn’t swallow his.
Thug girl: That ain’t true love.
–L train
Conductor: All right, people, there is six hundred feet of train. Let’s try to use more than one door, please.
Tourist: Well that was rude.
–Downtown F train, 42nd St
Tourist #1, looking at sign: What is a bunion?
Tourist #2: It sounds like something you can eat.
Tourist #1: Like an onion bun?
Tourist #2: Yeah, like that.
Tourist #1: Mmm, that makes me hungry. Let’s get some food when we get off the train.
–2 train
Overheard by: dubs
Teenage girl #1: I totally learned something at Coney Island the other day!
Teenage girl #2: Yeah?
Teenage girl #1: If you are walking on a sidewalk in Coney Island with a boy, and he has you walking closest to the street, that means he wants to sell you.
Teenage girl #2: Sell you?
Teenage girl #1: Yeah, but it only works in Coney Island. Joel told me. He was walking closest to the street. I think he really likes me!
–Q train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: jesse
Hipster girl #1, laughing: But maybe he was, like, ugly sexy?
Hipster girl #2: Really, though, not at all.
–F train
Overheard by: rachel kieffer
Teacher: It just seems the longer I teach, the dumber these kids get.
–1 train
Overheard by: Soon To Be A Teacher
