Girl on cell: … a roma tomato, lime… I mean lemon, either one… omigosh, this is the wrong number! [hangs up]
–Staten Island Ferry
Girl on cell: … a roma tomato, lime… I mean lemon, either one… omigosh, this is the wrong number! [hangs up]
–Staten Island Ferry
Guy: [something in Spanish]… how do you say “altar boy”? You know, the ones whose little dicks the priest sucks?
–7th & Ave A
Overheard by: Jenny B
Blind man: Anyone wanna give up a seat for a blind man? Any seats for a blind man on the subway?
A woman gives up her seat.
Suit: Man, I have got to try that one.
–2 train
Overheard by: Julia Giolzetti
Girl #1: Can I see your digital camera for a sec?
Girl #2: Not now.
Girl #1: Why not?
Girl #2: This is 125th Street. A little risky to be taking out expensive electronics.
Girl #1: Understood. I’ll ask again at 86th.
–4 train
Overheard by: sarah bitchards
Woman #1: That’s why I don’t go to that church anymore, I don’t want to kick that bitch’s ass in God’s house.
Woman #2: Huh?
Woman #1: Fuck that, I don’t want to go to hell cuz a that bitch, I’d rather fuck her up outside.
–L train, Bedford Ave
Overheard by: HS
Tourist lady: Does this train go to 9/11?
Man: what?
Tourist lady: I want to see 9/11.
Man: You mean World Trade Center?
Tourist lady: No, I mean 9/11.
Other tourist lady: Oh no, you want the E train. I had this problem yesterday. New Yorkers are so unhelpful
Stunned silence all the way to 42nd St.
–Downtown C train, 50th St.
Suit: Hey, I got this suit just for the interview. What do you think?
Suit’s friend: Looks good.
Suit: Yeah, it does. I look so good in this suit I could probably get away with incest.
Suit’s friend: Incest?!?
Suit: One of the hardest things to get away with.
–F train
Old man: What?
Old lady: [silence]
Old man: What?
Old lady: She said “Reefer,” not “queefer”!
Old man: What’s the difference?
Thug: The smell.
–3 train
A little boy is eating a chocolate Easter bunny.
Mom: Don’t eat too much of that. You’ll get diarrhea.
Little boy: But I like diarrhea.
–4 train
Overheard by: Patrick Di Justo
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, there is no need to rush onto this train, pushing others and possibly risking a fall, an injury, or worse. This is a 6 train and at this time of day there will be another 6 train every 5 minutes, so there is no need to risk injury… There will be another 6 train coming in 5 minutes. What do you think this is, the Tunaville Trolley? This is the 6 train!
–6 train
