Chick: I think a lot about solitary confinement. Like, what would I do all day?
–The Gate, Park Slope
Chick: I think a lot about solitary confinement. Like, what would I do all day?
–The Gate, Park Slope
Guy on cell: I’m going to kill you, and it’s going to hurt. You know that, right?…I’m not talking shit!
–Duane Reade, 44th & 5th
Marine: Dodgeball is something that they would show me in a POW camp! I couldn’t stomach it.
–Casa Bella, Mulberry St.
Woman: Yeah…and I told my mother, “Sorry, but you can’t abort a 28-year-old fetus.”
–1/9 Train
Overheard by: Stephanie
Woman on phone: No, my nose isn’t big by New York standards, but in Texas it’s huge.
–Midtown office
Asian yuppie: Now I don’t have to be possessive anymore. Instead, I rely on Jesus.
–Grand Cafe, Williamsburg
Hottie: …and then I want to tell them: less gooch, more cooch.
–DtUt, LES
Overheard by: e. glass
HS kid: My friend’s dad can blow smoke stars.
–Columbus Circle
A pushy, obnoxious woman tries to cram her way onto the subway before the passengers exiting even get a chance to get out the door. She screams: If you would get out of the way and let me on first, then you can get off!
–Penn Station
Girl: What kind of fur can we use that is only shaved and doesn't hurt the animals, like shearling, and not skinned?
–Bleecker & Lafayette
Overheard by: Anonymous
Man to ladies: So, I walk in the room and I see one guy shaving the other guy's balls.
–Forest Hills, Queens
Overheard by: CandyPerfume
Guy to girl: I just shaved my balls and now I'm itching all over.
–Houston St
Overheard by: pubey-free
Man eating ice cream while trying to walk: Beanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeano.
–49th St and 7th Ave Station
Man dressed in green unitard, running in circles: Augghhhhhhhhhh!!! Aughhhhhhhhhh!! Aughhhhhhh!!!!
–Union Square
Moviegoer, after preview for The Blind Side: Blerrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (vomiting noises, then audience erupts in laughter)
–Regal Battery Park Stadium Movie Theater
Teenage boy, taking gum out of his pocket and looking at it: Scrotum! (puts gum back in pocket and walks away)
–95th St & Madison
Overheard by: Confused
