Girl #1: Yeah, so lately I’ve been really getting into African click songs.
Girl #2: Please don’t demonstrate.
–Grand Central Station, Dining Concourse
Girl #1: Yeah, so lately I’ve been really getting into African click songs.
Girl #2: Please don’t demonstrate.
–Grand Central Station, Dining Concourse
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound…
[Long pause]
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound Manhattan train…oh damnit.
[long pause]
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound Manhattan train approaching Nevins Avenue.
Guy: It’s Nevins Street, lady! The stop before that is Atlantic Avenue.
Lady: That person needs to go the fuck back on strike. She went 0 for fucking 3.
–Nevins Street station
Overheard by: Luke
Conductor: Local, this is a 7 local. 33rd Street next.
Loudspeaker: Attention Flushing-bound 7 train. You are not a local. You are an express train. Your next stop is 61st-Woodside. Now let the people in and close your doors.
–Queensboro Plaza 7 station
Overheard by: and hearts semicolon
Conductor: The man in the yellow hat, please get off the train. We
don’t take passengers at Fordham.
Woman: Isn’t that Curious George’s owner?
–Metro-North
Daily News guy: Osama Bin Laden in New York! Let’s get him! Saddam Hussein has escaped!
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Marlon Disla
Girl #1: Oh my god, I totally shoudn’t be out tonight. I totally look like I just had an abortion.
Girl #2: You look fine and you had an abortion like a month ago.
–Martini Red, Staten Island
Girl #1: There are like, so many orthodox Jews at the law school. Why would they come to a Jesuit school if they’re orthodox Jews?
Girl #2: Well, it’s not like everyone else is Catholic.
Girl #1: But Jews are like the opposite of Catholics, they’re, like, not even close.
Girl #2: You’re a slut; that’s not very Catholic.
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: IDigGraves94
Dad: Don’t wipe your hands on me! What’s wrong with you? Megan’s father only got 25 years after she went missing! And it’s not like I’m in a rush to get home to your mother!
Little boy: What?
Dad: …That was a messed-up thing to say, wasn’t it?!
–L train
Dad: You see that? Isn’t that beautiful?
Little boy: No. It’s stupid.
Dad: Huh? Come here, sit down. Don’t ever say something like that, okay? You know what happens when you say that’s stupid?
He slaps him lightly on the wrists.
Dad: You don’t want that, do you? Go look at it again and tell me what you see…Well, what do you see?…Is it beautiful?
Little boy: Yeah.
Dad: Okay.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: David D.
Chick #1: The ceremony is so long. They should just throw the diplomas off the stage into the audience.
Chick #2: Yeah, and if you don’t catch one, sorry, you don’t graduate.
Chick #1: So then the football team will actually graduate.
Chick #2: The receivers, anyway.
–Fordham
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Queer #1: What would happen if I suddenly went deaf?
Queer #2: You? It would take you a while to notice.
–7 train
