Girl on cell: Oh my god, I’ve been having the shittiest day today. No, it has nothing to do with our conversation this morning. Listen, believe it or not, I can have a shitty day that has nothing to do with you…Ugh, I have no idea why I called you. [hangs up] My fucking dad. I can’t even get a sympathy “it’s all rainbows and bunnies” phone-hug from him!
–Union Square W & 15th
Overheard by: someone who knows how she feels
Kid behind a guy in a Fubu jersey: Dad, who’s Fubu?
Dad: That’s the guy’s name, son
–Penn Station
Russian driver: I don’t know, she stop right in front of me.
Cop: She just slammed on the brakes? Why did she do that?
Russian driver: I don’t know, light was yellow. You know, green is go, red is stop, yellow is go faster.
Cop: Sure, absolutely.
–21st Ave & 77th St, Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Joel
Woman: Damn, that Mexican is hungry.
Mexican with 10 bags: I’m the delivery boy, you dumb fuck.
–100th & Broadway
Overheard by: robby b
Guy #1: Hey. Is it hailing out?
Guy #2: Hail yeah!
Silence for a few seconds.
Guy #2: I said…
Guy #1: I heard you. Shut up.
–Joe’s Pizza, Carmine & 6th Ave
Overheard by: james clunie
Girl: Where’s the bathroom?
She tries to open the door to the conductor’s box.
Girl: Who’s in there? I have to use the bathroom!
–1 train uptown
Overheard by: jonathan renshon
Asian guy: Teddy Roosevelt, there was a man. Out of the days when men could club women over the head and drag them off.
Asian chick: Hmm.
Asian guy: What I’m saying is — my thesis is — the position I’m taking is — the argument I’m making is — there’s never been a successful matriarchal society.
Asian chick: Hmm.
Asian guy: Byron “The Whizzer” White! He was a man. He could do it all. Feminism is bullshit. That’s what I love about you. I can’t talk like this around most girls.
Asian chick: Hmm.
–Tony’s Di Napoli, 84th & 2nd
Girl #1: Why don’t you want to go to Chicago with him?
Girl #2: ‘Cause he got man boobs.
–23rd St pier
