Thug #1: Yo nigga, what are they wearing in the hood these days?
Thug #2: Nigga, white on white is out!
–Outside Kenneth Cole, 5th & 17th
Asian guy: Teddy Roosevelt, there was a man. Out of the days when men could club women over the head and drag them off.
Asian chick: Hmm.
Asian guy: What I’m saying is — my thesis is — the position I’m taking is — the argument I’m making is — there’s never been a successful matriarchal society.
Asian chick: Hmm.
Asian guy: Byron “The Whizzer” White! He was a man. He could do it all. Feminism is bullshit. That’s what I love about you. I can’t talk like this around most girls.
Asian chick: Hmm.
–Tony’s Di Napoli, 84th & 2nd
Girl #1: Why don’t you want to go to Chicago with him?
Girl #2: ‘Cause he got man boobs.
–23rd St pier
Girl #1: Yeah, so lately I’ve been really getting into African click songs.
Girl #2: Please don’t demonstrate.
–Grand Central Station, Dining Concourse
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound…
[Long pause]
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound Manhattan train…oh damnit.
[long pause]
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound Manhattan train approaching Nevins Avenue.
Guy: It’s Nevins Street, lady! The stop before that is Atlantic Avenue.
Lady: That person needs to go the fuck back on strike. She went 0 for fucking 3.
–Nevins Street station
Overheard by: Luke
Conductor: Local, this is a 7 local. 33rd Street next.
Loudspeaker: Attention Flushing-bound 7 train. You are not a local. You are an express train. Your next stop is 61st-Woodside. Now let the people in and close your doors.
–Queensboro Plaza 7 station
Overheard by: and hearts semicolon
Conductor: The man in the yellow hat, please get off the train. We
don’t take passengers at Fordham.
Woman: Isn’t that Curious George’s owner?
–Metro-North
Daily News guy: Osama Bin Laden in New York! Let’s get him! Saddam Hussein has escaped!
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Marlon Disla
Girl #1: Oh my god, I totally shoudn’t be out tonight. I totally look like I just had an abortion.
Girl #2: You look fine and you had an abortion like a month ago.
–Martini Red, Staten Island
Girl #1: There are like, so many orthodox Jews at the law school. Why would they come to a Jesuit school if they’re orthodox Jews?
Girl #2: Well, it’s not like everyone else is Catholic.
Girl #1: But Jews are like the opposite of Catholics, they’re, like, not even close.
Girl #2: You’re a slut; that’s not very Catholic.
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: IDigGraves94
