Girl: Happy 4th of July!
Boyfriend: Why are you so happy about it? You're not American.
Girl: I am too, I was born here!
Boyfriend: I'm waaaay more American than you.
Girl: What, you think Puerto Ricans came over on the Mayflower?
–Union Market, Park Slope
Woman #1: Ohmigod.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Ohmigod!
Woman #2: What? What?!
Woman #1: Why am I naked on twitter??!
Woman #2: You can be naked on that thing? Sign me up!
Woman #1: I'm gonna kill that prick!
Woman #2: (laughs)
Woman #1: What's so funny?!
Woman #2: They should call it “twatter.”
Woman #1: Shut up.
Woman #2: Tweets from your twat.
Woman #1: So you're not gonna take this seriously?
Woman #2: … Fodder from twatter.
–Dunkin' Donuts
Teenage girl to boyfriend: I've seen so many people here. Where do they all live? I haven't seen any houses.
Boyfriend: I don't know.
–R Train, near Canal
Pretty brunette: Oh my god! I haven't seen you in forever! Look at you, you dyed your hair. It looks great!
Pretty blonde: Oh, thanks! Hah, yeah, I did it a year ago. I wanted to change things up a little.
Pretty brunette, in jest: So, is it true? Do you have more fun now?
Pretty blonde, sighing earnestly: Ugh. Kind of, but it's always short-lived. I actually have a lot of hookups with guys who have no interest in ever seeing me again after that. It kind of sucks. And actually, this definitely started when I dyed my hair…
Pretty brunette: Oh, uhm, I was kind of joking.
Pretty blonde: Yeah, well… I wasn't.
Pretty brunette, uncomfortably: Oh.
–86th & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: a blonde who hasn't noticed this
Girl, holding guy's hand: Are you dating anyone?
Guy: No.
Girl: I thought you were…
Guy: I have an ex.
Girl: Oh, okay.
Guy: That I've tinkered with for about a month…
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Chris K.
Film student: There's subtext to butt-sex?
–School of Visual Arts
Girl, to guy: Was your dick *in* my ass? Did we just do anal?
–Lower East Side
College girl: And my butthole is probably a lot tighter than hers.
–LIRR
Middle aged suit: I think I'd really enjoy anal because I always take such big craps.
–Union Square
Overheard by: alib
Woman to friend: Did you know the latest teenage fad is butt sex?
–177th St & Broadway
Girl on cell: Yeah, the breakup was tough, but I'm feeling good about it now! (pause) Hell, yes, I'm dating! (pause) Yeah, it's an exciting time! So much suspense, so many questions! Will he call me? Whom should I choose? Does he like me? Do I have syphilis?
–M4 Bus
Overheard by: All good questions
Drunk gay guy who just dropped lit cigarette: Shit! If I pick this up, do I have herpes?
–Waverly & University Place
Guy to friend: Nietzsche had syphilis… Why can't I?
–G Train
Woman at newsstand: Do you sell anything for herpes and cold sores?
–W 4th St
Overheard by: wow…i didnt kno they sold that her
Gay man to girlfriend: Is Mr Syphilis coming?
–24th & 2nd
Overheard by: erkala
Woman: So what if I sleep with dogs for money?
–Chrystie St & Delancey
Middle-aged woman, after being told her puppies can't enter store: That's why I live in LA, they're much more dog-friendly there. Now, can you please get me the Lady Gaga CD?
–Barnes & Noble
Young woman, seeing three-legged dog: Three-legged dogs are kinda trendy these days.
–Sunset Park
Overheard by: Matty
Woman to another, walking out of subway: I'm telling you, chihuahuas are fucking taking over the city.
–Bedford Ave & 7th St
Overheard by: J Wing
Man in '80s garb, getting off train and pumping arms in great exaltation: The dog is back!
–Steinway Street
Overheard by: Jo Ann Chism
Wide-eyed woman on cell: Is it the drugs that are doing this to me?
–St Mark's & Ave A
Guy going superfast on a bike with eyes closed and feet on handlebars: Oh, man, I'm trippin'! Oh, god, I'm shroomin'!
–Delancey St
Professor: Take that Ritalin-Scotch-heroin cocktail… With a pop-tart!
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Denali
Flyer guy: Anyone want to help support my drug habit?
–Times Square
Girl with group of friends: You can be a responsible drug addict… I had two jobs and went to college.
–Jane & 4th St
Overheard by: M Tod
Barnard girl: So my grandparents gave me one of those Visa gift card things for $50 for Valentine's Day… What the fuck am I going to spend $50 on, if it's not drugs?
–The Diana Center, Barnard College
Stephen Colbert, after flubbing a line during filming: I'm high. (audience laughs) Don't blog that!
–Colbert Report Studios, 54th St
Overheard by: Allison
Frantic woman: Excuse me, is this the train to Manhattan?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: oliver
Tourist to companion: We've left the village now, but I don't think this is Soho.
–Stanton & Orchard
Middle-aged woman in sharp looking suit: I thought Croatia was an Asian country in Europe.
–4 Train
Woman to friends: I had four kids today label New York in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. I am such a great teacher.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Mickey and Gabe
