Um, Have You Seen Jackass?

French lesbian: Martin Luther king, was he white?
American lesbian: No. He was black!
French lesbian: Oh I always get him confused with that other president who was the cripple.
American lesbian: Martin Luther king wasn't ever a president.
French lesbian: God! But they have a day for him anyway? America is so pretentious!

–East Village

Posted on February 13, 2009
Foreigners, History & Geography, Lesbians, Questions, Race, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

The Zen Of Grandma

Grandmother: And when we get outside, then you can ask the big question. And what's the big question?
Grandson: Who are you?

–Park Slope

Overheard by: MK

Posted on February 13, 2009
Families, Park Slope, Philosophy, Questions, Weirdness

When You Don't Know What You're Talking About, Charm's Only a Little Help

Guy #1: There are just some things certain in life, like death in Texas.
Guy #2: Wait…don't you mean to say “death and taxes”?
Guy #1: Oh yeah, I forgot to say it with an Southern accent.

–A Train

Overheard by: krisenthia

Posted on February 13, 2009
Death, Guys, Money & Class, On the Subway, Philosophy, Questions

Except for That Three-Day Vacation in the Tombs

Man, entering subway and noticing religious freak speaking: Hey man! Good to see you! Where have you been all summer? Did you take a day off? Jesus doesn't take a day off!

–1 Train

Overheard by: J-OY-K

Posted on February 13, 2009
God Squad, Holidays, Jesus, Men, On the Subway, Questions

As in “Puttin' On the Fritz”?

Hipster chick #1: Yeah, my cell phone was on the…uh…skitz?
Hipster chick #2: “Skitz”?
Hipster chick #1: Maybe not. “Skitz” is like the streaks left in the toilet after you take a shit.
Hipster chick #2: You meant “on the Fritz”

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: The Katie

Posted on February 13, 2009
Cell Phone, Girls, Hipsters, Poop, Questions, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Words

It's Even Funnier When You Know the Hobo Talks Like Mr. T

20-year old, passing a hobo: Dude, you smell.
Hobo: Fuck you, hipster!
20-year old: I'm not a hips…
Hobo, cutting him off: Where's your hat?
20-year old: I don't own a h…
Hobo, cutting him off: Fuck you and your hat!

–2nd Ave, East Village

Posted on February 13, 2009
Clothing, Guys, Hobos, Homeless, Insults, Only in New York, Questions, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Union Square and East Village

This Is Funnier If You Don't Think About Where She Hears It

Little girl to little boy: What are you doing!?
Little boy, holding a cup of water: Nothing.
Little girl: Every time I come back your glass is full again, you're always drunk!

–181 & Broadway

Overheard by: Justaboy86