Rack

Modest hoochie: Yeah, I can always tell if a guy’s a fag or not by whether he checks out my tits.

–Penn Station

Teenage girl: That’s ’cause Puerto Ricans come up to you and be like, “Hey, Mami, lookin’ hot,” but Dominicans come up to you and be like, “Yo, Mami, you got nice tits!”

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: erlinflask

Woman in tight shirt: I just know, you know, that at some point I’m going to have saggy boobs.

–Ave A between 5th & 6th

Overheard by: Nathan

Guy: I contend that if you’re going to allow someone to breast-feed in a public place, then I should be allowed to stare.

–Wd~50, Clinton St

Overheard by: Evan

Toothless Brooklynite: I’m sayin’ she used to have some good pussy and some big ole titties. I’m talking double E-E’s. And she went to the doctor and had them cut off. Her titties was cut off!

–A train

Overheard by: The Law Professor

Teen girl to mother: Maybe I’ll do that. Or maybe I’ll just give myself a boob job with a rusty butter knife and water balloons!

–N train

Guy: Well, it’s not like you can’t say you’ve never had your bosom in somebody’s elbow before.

–Stage door, Eugene O’Neill Theatre, West 49th St

Four-year-old girl looking at photos depicting rape victims: Daddy, what are they doing in these pictures?
Father: Um, the women got really tired and decided to take a nap.
Seven-year-old boy: Why is there blood between their legs?
Mother, hurrying everyone to next piece: Look, breasts!

–Global Feminisms exhibit, Brooklyn Museum

Overheard by: office peon loved the exhibit

Guy: Hottest piece of ass I’ve ever seen.
Girl: She is beautiful, huh?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: So you think they’re real?
Guy: I dunno.
Girl: I think they’re natural.

–Houston & Lafayette

Dude: We have called you The Breast Fondler for like two years and she wouldn’t even let you fondle her breasts? Doesn’t she know your nickname?

–6 train

Overheard by: Matt Stoudt

Hot schoolgirl to plain friend: I think my boobs are getting bigger.
(every guy in the train looks)
Plain friend: Ummm, you said that a bit loud…
Hot schoolgirl: No, seriously, look! (cups boobs) They're bigger! They're like under my chin now. Every time I look down I get surprised, because they're just so there!
Plain friend, embarrassed: Please shut up until we're off this train.
Hot schoolgirl, looking up: Huh, what? I missed that, I was distracted by my boobs.

–1 Train

Old Jewish lady #1: Maybe today we should go to Flashdancers.
Old Jewish lady #2: Oh yes, yes, I could look at some ta-tas.

–70th & 3rd

Overheard by: liz

Woman: You'll need to refrain from grabbing my boobs the entire time I'm in labor.
(long pause)
Man: I'm not making any promises.

–Q Train

Overheard by: Ladle

Asian undergrad #1: You know that “boyfriend” jacket you tried on looked really good on you.
Asian undergrad #2: Yeah… That's because I have no tits.
Asian undergrad #1: Yeah, you're right.

–NYU Palladium Gym

Overheard by: Nel

20-something college girl: So then they started to call me “zitty-titties”!
Friend: I told you to pop those!

–NYU

Overheard by: That's embarrassing

Blonde #1: I just got my boobs done!
Blonde #2: Oh, wow! They're so cute!
Blonde #1: They don't look too big or rock hard, do they? They hurt so much, I feel like a damn porn star!
Blonde #2: No, they look awesome!
Blonde #1: Wanna feel them?
Blonde #2: (squeezes friend's boobs)

–Apple Store, 14th St

Overheard by: Susie