Lesbo: I’m just sick of everyone stereotyping and treating people based on race, sexual orientation, or whatever.
Staight woman: Yeah, it’s hard to avoid.
Lesbo: I know! And it’s like 2007! Everyone’s gay or lesbian. The stereotyping is everywhere — school, the gym, work.
Straight woman: Oh, where do you work?
Lesbo: Home Depot.
–4 train
Overheard by: Stephen Fargo
Queer: There are a lot of young kids out there learning how to spell ‘glamorous,’ and that makes me real happy.
–Canal Jeans Co
Queer to tourist: You’re from Minnesota? My ex’s father was a senator from Minnesota. I went there once to meet him… I forget his name, but what we did was very taboo.
–Prince St
Queer to another: Don’t nudge me, you lesbian.
–Line for he Cyclone, Coney Island
Queer to boyfriend: You remind me of this autistic kid I worked with once.
–Park Ave
Overheard by: Katey
Queer on cell, perusing baked goods: I want a muffin. Do you want a muffin? This whole courtroom wants a muffin!
–Food Emporium
Overheard by: admittedly amused
Drunk girl to couple making out: Whoa, get a room!
Boy, looking up and recognizing drunk girl: Hey! Wow! How have you been?
Drunk girl: Oh my god… And all this time I thought you were gay.
–59th & Lex
Sex kitten on cell: … Body shots with hot, Brazilian, bi girls? Check.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: McN.
Man on cell: … And now she likes girls, so what am I supposed to do?
–86th & 3rd
Overheard by: Karolyn
NYU broad: I figure I’ve got three more years before it’s not experimenting anymore… Of course I let him fuck me. If I didn’t, it’d just be like fucking a girl!
–NYU Silver Center
Guy on cell: I’m telling you, she slept with someone else in my bed… It was another woman… Well, she said it didn’t count.
–Outside Circus Bar, 43rd & 8th
Overheard by: tommy z
Teen boy recounting a fight at a school dance: … And so I told them, ‘Niggas better not fight, or my hand will be bisexual tonight, and I will slap you bitches!’
–J train
Hot chick on cell: How are we not millionaires with all our combined knowledge of meatotomy, Vegas, and bisexuality?
–Harlem
Overheard by: McNasty
Black girl: So, she told me that she was into pussy and asked if I was, and I’m like, ‘Ew, hell no!’ That’s just gross. I don’t want to look at that. Vaginas are just nasty. Don’t want to put my mouth on that shit.
Friend: Why not? Guys do all the time.
Black girl: Whatever — that’s their job. Haha, it’s what they get.
–A train
Girl: I can’t believe you took me to Bryant Park to propose to me!
Boy: But I want to marry you!
Girl: And you got down on one knee and what did you expect me to say?
Boy: That you will marry me?
Girl: But I can’t marry you — you sleep with boys!
–B train, 42nd St
Chick: If he was straight he would have been staring at my breasts!
Queer passerby: It’s true.
–W 54th & 9th
Overheard by: Big Poppa
College girl #1: I feel like if I flirted with you enough, I could get you to hook up with me.
College girl #2: I am not a lesbian!
College girl #1: We’ll see.
College girl #2: I cannot believe we are having this conversation again!
–Barnard College
Suit: Sometimes I want to ask Dan* if he’s gay. I can’t figure out if he is or not.
Woman: Is he flamboyant?
Suit: Yeah, but that could be because he’s a southerner.
–550 Madison Ave
Overheard by: DrDorn
Queer: I think bisexuality is just trendy, or for people who can’t come out of the closet.
Fag hag: I agree. I could never date a bisexual.
Loud girl: Bisexuals are just fucking greedy!
–Hayden Residence Hall
Overheard by: Cooper
