White girl: I don’t get that girl. I just don’t like her.
Black boyfriend: Why?
White girl: Because if I don’t like someone, I tell them. Straight at their face, I’m like, ‘I don’t like you.’ But she be talking behind people’s backs and shit. It’s not cool, yo.
Black boyfriend: Yeah.
White girl: And she thinks she’s ghetto, but she’s not. We ghetto — she’s not.
–Uptown C platform, 34th St
Banker #1: Have you ever thought about what your wife’s shit looks like?
Banker #2: Yeah. I bet it’s really tiny because she’s really tiny.
–F/V subway station, 2nd Ave
Overheard by: threw up in my mouth
Conductor: There are seats towards the back of the train.
Keep walking! Sometime today, people. What did you stop for? Keeeep walking!
–Train to Grand Central
Overheard by: Muffin
Conductor: Where’s the other guy? Raj, if you can hear me, you can come pick up your My Little Pony from the booth.
–LIRR, Hempstead station
Subway station announcement: Because of an earlier incident, all trains are now running.
–Union Square Station
Overheard by: E Moran
Conductor: This is 36th Street. Step to the side and let all the monkeys off the train. Let the monkeys off the train.
–Queens bound N train
Conductor: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is an extremely crowded F train. Next stop is Jay Street, and by this time it’s official, every person in New York is on this train. Please stand clear of the closing doors, if you can.
–Coney Island bound F train
Overheard by: F Train Sloper
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, the next stop is 59th Street. And if you haven’t voted and are thinking of voting for Bush, please see the movie Fahrenheit 9/11. Thank you. Stand clear of the closing doors.
–4 Train, 42nd St
Overheard by: Jonny
Conductor: You have yourself a satisfying Thursday.
–F train
College girl: Excuse me… excuse me… who is Darfur?
Guy: Are you kidding me? You need to get educated… you haven’t heard of the genocide there?
College girl: Pshhh… we pay people to gather information. Why do I need to know it?
–4/5/6 platform, 96th St
Overheard by: Sheena Tahilramani
Man: Wow, you speak good English. Where are you from?
Asian girl: Australia.
Man: Do they speak English there?
–1 train station
Girl: Hey, do you have to read that for class?
Guy: Nope, just picked it up for fun.
Girl: If you like Vonnegut, you’d really like One Flew Out of the Cuckoo’s Next.
Guy: This is my stop.
–4 train
Overheard by: Yael
Woman: No thanks, the shoes just didn’t look good on me.
Salesguy: Thanks for trying.
Woman: Uh, you’re welcome?
–Steve Madden, East 86th Street
Overheard by: Lucy
Old man: Is this bench for young people or old people? Because I only sit with the young.
Woman: It’s for everyone.
Old man: Well, since it’s Christmastime, I’ll sit with you.
–Roosevelt Island station
Overheard by: Suriya
Man: Watch where you’re going.
Woman: Why don’t you get out of the way?
Man: Fuck you, lady.
Woman: You come from the land of yonder where animals exist!
–23rd Street F station
Overheard by: jill Bee
AM New York guy: Safe sex is the best sex! Wear a condom! Read all about it! AMNews!
–72nd Street 1/2/3 station
Overheard by: Hazel924
Girl: I want to see that.
Guy: What’s it about?
Girl: The war in Europe.
–West 4th Street station
