Round ghetto girl: Skateboardin’: not cool.
Skater: Childhood obesity: not cool.
–125th St station
Overheard by: Solar
Round ghetto girl: Skateboardin’: not cool.
Skater: Childhood obesity: not cool.
–125th St station
Overheard by: Solar
Hobo, walking quickly around a lady: You cannot fuck with a power walker!
–60th & 6th
Hobo on corner: Yo man, can I borrow like a hundred dollars plus tax?
–Outside Gray's Papaya
Panhandling teenager: I'm like Obama. I want change!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Canadian Girl
Hobo to self: I don't have anything against people with homes. Why, some of my very best friends have homes!
–E 35th & 6th Ave
Hobo to cops talking him away: Nah, man. I wasn't peeing on no stairs. What you don't understand is that I don't pee for anyone else, I pee for myself.
–145th Street Subway Station
Overheard by: Ben B.
Hipster: Everyone I know is either married, divorced, gay or crazy.
–37th St, Astoria
Overheard by: Matthias Sundberg
Karaoke panhandler singing Gnarls Barkley: "Does that make me craaaaazy? Maybe I'm craaaaaazy!" It's Memorial Day and I'm sitting here singing to people I never met before in my life. Mmmmmm…craaaazy!
–Times Square Subway Station
Black woman to janitor companion: I am so glad I live in the ghetto. These motherfuckers down here are crazy! (companion nods) And I live in the ghe-tto, 2 train ghetto.
–22nd St & 5th Ave
Hobo, watching man and woman having sex against a statue: I think I'm going to have to move to Europe or something. This place is getting too crazy.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Westsider
30-something guy on cell: Well, that's what my crazy sister said about my more crazy sister.
–Broadway & 114th St
Overheard by: mary e.
Little boy in abandoned shopping cart: I've gotta get off this crazy train!
–Target, Atlantic Ave
Cop: Excuse me sir, did you drop this Metrocard?
Asian guy: Oh thank you so much, I’ve been looking for it all over the place!
Cop: You littered. Here’s your ticket.
–Kew Gardens station
Overheard by: Ting
Woman running down the stairs: Hold the doors! Oh, God, please hold the doors! Please! [Doors close, train pulls away.] Why? Whyyy?!
–A train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Hobo to man running for the train: You better run faster! That’s the last train in the world!
–W 4th Street A/C/E platform
Overheard by: Curly Ku
Student: Yo mama is so dumb that when she needs to take the 4 train, she takes the 2 train twice!
–Brooklyn Tech High School
Overheard by: Gazoo
Tourist to friends: Ok, so, we’re headed downtown right now, and in a couple stops we’ll transfer to the express.
–A train express, between 34th & 42nd
Tourist woman: Why is it called an express train? All it does is skip stops.
–4 train at Fulton St
Chick to guy: Don’t tell me that bull! Don’t pull that on the A train!
–Manhattan-bound A train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: chudoc324
Guy #1: So I’m not sure what to do.
Guy #2: If you want to know something from somebody, get them drunk.
–8th Street N/R Station
Hot Girl: …and then gonorrhea. Yeah, I think that’s all I’ve had. Not as bad as I thought!
–Union Square Station
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Guy: You are a compelling argument against homosexuality. You are a very pretty girl.
–72nd St Station
MTA announcer: Ladies and gentleman, the next Brooklyn-bound L train will depart in approximately five minutes. The following Brooklyn-bound L train will depart in approximately fifteen minutes
MTA worker: Fifteen minutes my ass!
–L Train Station
Man on BlackBerry: Yeah, it's about a freaking partnership. And there's no "I" in partnership.
–Washington Square Park
Subway announcer: There is a downtown b train approaching 96th Street. That is "b" as in "delta."
–86th St Subway Station
Manager, looking at display that has been knocked over: This place is trashed. T-r-s-h-a-e-d! Trashed! (awkward silence from employees) What? What did I say?
–Bed Bath & Beyond
Overheard by: Melissa
Theater tech guy on phone: So you're saying every time Sesame Street was brought to you by the letter "b," you cried? If that's the case, I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry I offended you with a letter.
–50th & 9th
