Big black woman to son: I’m gonna smack you so hard, you’re gonna taste it!
Son, wailing: I don’t want to taste it!
Passerby: I don’t want to taste it either.
–74th St-Roosevelt Ave station
Big black woman to son: I’m gonna smack you so hard, you’re gonna taste it!
Son, wailing: I don’t want to taste it!
Passerby: I don’t want to taste it either.
–74th St-Roosevelt Ave station
Dude to woman: You can’t talk about the second dimension, but you can talk about sewing?!
–12th & 4th
Overheard by: Joy
Asian woman to boyfriend: I am not going to talk about having a threesome with you and your clone on the train!
–Brooklyn-bound F train
Overheard by: Ann
Chick on cell: … Talking about the apocalypse, but they were really laid back people.
–Barnard College
Lady: I can’t even talk to you for seven minutes, and you’re about to be my husband!
–Union Square
Woman on cell: I know you’re full of muscle relaxants and want to chat, but I can’t talk right now. Just take a picture of it and email it to me.
–57th & 6th
Overheard by: Withnail
Girl: Oh! Funny story — I was talking to my therapist about suicide yesterday…
–13th & 6th
Overheard by: gigglesnort
Drunk 30-ish woman #1, leaning on friend: Isn’t it amazing how small men’s dicks get when they’re… you know… down?
Drunk 30-ish woman #2: It’s more amazing how small some men’s dicks are when they’re actually up.
–1 train platform
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
Bloke #1 looking at subway map: It’s not actually that big a city, is it?
Bloke #2: Yeah, and there’s really no need for this bit here.
Bloke #1: That’s where all the rappers grew up.
–L station, 3rd Ave
Overheard by: miss blanky-poo
Young woman running up platform, slamming into tourist lady: Damn fucking tourists! Get the fuck out of my way!
Tourist lady: Excuse me, what?
Young woman: Don’t be ‘what’-ing me. I just gave you a New-fucking-York experience. You should be thanking me.
–Subway station, 42nd St
Overheard by: Susane
Ghetto chick #1: Hey, Shonondra?
Ghetto chick #2: Yeah?
Ghetto chick #1: Is fiction the troof?
–Subway platform, 14th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: jim
Girl #1 running down subway steps as train pulls away: Hurry, hurry! … Shit! We just missed it!
Girl #2: We didn’t want a six train anyways.
Girl #1: I know… But it still pisses me off.
–4/5/6 platform, Union Square
Overheard by: Bean
Skater kid: What’s the point of being gay if you like girls who dress like boys?
–42nd St, between 7th & 8th Ave
Lady on phone: Yeah, she was working at a factory, but she was passing as a man… Well, she didn’t last a week at the factory.
–Bus in Lincoln Tunnel
TA: We live in a two-gender system of society. There’s no green ‘It’s a hermaphrodite!’ balloon to put out on your front lawn.
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Limey
Chick: I mean, I feel frumpy here. For real. I’m sick of being like, ‘That guy is skinnier than me, has on nicer jeans, and has better makeup.’
–26th St
Overheard by: agrees with that girl
College student on cell: Great, I’ll see you soon. Can I be dressed as a woman?
–114th & Broadway
Mom to very young son: Some things are for boys, and some things are for girls. It was cute when you were little, but now it’s time to differentiate.
–Target, Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Bimbette #1: So yeah, he decided to quit working at Cold Stone’s and go into the military.
Bimbette #2: Oh, okay, what part?
Bimbette #1: The military.
Bimbette #2: Yeah, which part? The Army?
Bimbette #1: No, not the Army — the military.
Bimbette #2: No, I mean the Army? The Navy? Something? The military isn’t a separate part.
Bimbette #1: No, it was just a general thing. Not a separate part. Just the military.
Bimbette #2: [Pauses] Oooh, okay!
–Borough Hall Station, 4 & 5 platform
Overheard by: Trish
Girlfriend: What would you do if I just suddenly grew a penis?
Boyfriend: Well, first I’d scream. Then, I’d probably jack you off.
–7 train station, Main St
