Old, crazy-looking black dude: The problem, James, is that you’re letting pride go to your head!
White college kid whose name probably isn’t James: Who are you?
–Times Square station
Old, crazy-looking black dude: The problem, James, is that you’re letting pride go to your head!
White college kid whose name probably isn’t James: Who are you?
–Times Square station
Brit lady, to MTA booth lady: Two adults, please. We’ll be getting off around 58th Street.
–14th St F station
Overheard by: Fidget
Tourist: Excuse me, does the F train stop here?
–Subway sandwiches, Houston & Lafayette
Tourist woman, loudly: Jeany? How many stops are we going on this train?
–Times Square shuttle
Overheard by: nevermind
Tourist: Excuse me, which way is it to Upper Town?
–Broadway & Worth
Overheard by: dukes
Tourist: Is this now the Grand Canyon of the East Coast?
–Ground Zero
Tourist: My plane doesn’t leave for 4 hours. Can I walk to the Statue of Liberty from here?
–La Guardia Airport
Overheard by: Jose Hernandez
Tourist, leading a group of more than a dozen fellow tourists: Okay, I… um…don’t know where we are now…Oh, wait! Yes I do! We’re at the South Street Seaport!
–Union Square
Blonde: Look, there’s the Chrysler. Look, there’s Times Square. Where’s the Empire State Building?
–Top of Empire State Building
Overheard by: englishman in new york
Tourist, to deck hand: I can’t see the Statue of Liberty. Would you please move the lifeboat out of the way while I take a picture?
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Steven Lowell
Lost-looking chick on cell: Why do they always fuck with the trains on weekends? Don't they know there are stoned people trying to get home?
–Subway Platform, Grand Central
Overheard by: Poogtastic
Loudspeaker dispatcher lady: Hey you! Uptown number 5! You better stop sticking your head out the window and answer me on the radio!
–Uptown 4,5,6 Train, Union Square
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Elegant gentleman, as train starts to depart station: Oh, I didn't realize the train was going to move.
–Crowded Uptown 1 Train
MTA announcement: The uptown 1 train is running.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Krisztina
Dispatcher: The arriving train will be the next train. The arriving train will be the next train.
–G Train, Court Square
Overheard by: Katrink
Old man: I'm coming, train. I'm coming. I'm coming, train, you son of a bitch bastard!
–6 Train
20-something woman on cell: I thought I was pregnant because I was nauseous all the time, but then I realized I was just always hungover.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy to chick: What the fuck did she get pregnant for? She needed to lose some weight.
–Bowery
Hyper chick: He got me knocked up with this giant pretzel!
–LIRR
Overheard by: Pretzel Vendor
20-something girl to friend: Oh, so you're thinking because it's Memorial Day weekend you're gonna get preggers?
–Hoyt-Schermerhorn Subway Sation
Guy, about a couple who'd broken up: She came back to pick up her shit, and when you come back to pick up your shit, you know, shit happens, and she got pregnant.
–Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ashley
Lady suit on cell: Well, unless you want to get me pregnant, I'm not sure I see a way around this!
–Columbus Circle
Hobo: Do you have a dollar?
Suit: Yes.
Hobo: May I have it?
Suit: Shouldn’t you do a trick first?
Hobo: Fucker, I don’t even own pants! You want me to dance for that shit?
–49th Street station
Overheard by: dank
Techie in suit: I mean, there are two reasons. A: it's better.
Meathead friend: Uh-huh.
Techie: A: it's warmer.
Meathead: Uh-huh.
Techie: B: the women there are much more receptive to thinly veiled suggestion.
Meathead: Uh…
Techie: What I mean by that is that they have low self esteem. I do my best work with low self esteem.
–14th St & 8th Ave Subway Station
Overheard by: Rebecca
Construction worker #1: Make it look nice for the homeless here!
Construction worker #2: Oh yeah!
–Broadway/Lafayette station
Thug #1: So what did she say?
Thus #2: I don't know man, she was all like, “I smell that shit, I smell it!” and I was like “bitch, please, I just fucked you!”
–14th St Subway Station
Overheard by: now i'm curious
Babysitter: Ok guys, hold my hand.
Six-year-old boy: Holding hands is unnatural.
Babysitter: What? Where did you hear that?
Six-year-old boy: George Bush!
Man walking ahead: Wow, he really does get blamed for everything now.
–1 train, 225th St
Overheard by: bkh
Two Chinese men sit down on the bench next to a sleeping homeless man trying to sleep.
Hobo: Ah, hell no! You’re not going to start having a conversation like that at 3 in the fuckin’ morning…I ain’t got no motherfucking subtitle button on me!
–49th Street station
Overheard by: Schweiz
