Teen girl #1: I hate these tourists! They’re fucking everywhere!
Teen girl #2, in next stall over: I know!
Teen girl #1: It’s like, ‘Don’t you have the Gap in, like, Kansas or something?’
–Gap dressing room, Times Square
Teen girl #1: I hate these tourists! They’re fucking everywhere!
Teen girl #2, in next stall over: I know!
Teen girl #1: It’s like, ‘Don’t you have the Gap in, like, Kansas or something?’
–Gap dressing room, Times Square
Teen #1: My shits change color. They be green, then they dark brown…
Teen #2: Green? Nah…
Teen #3: My shits be green.
Teen #4: Yeah, I seen his shits be green.
Teen #1: Look! Look right now. My eyes be green.
Teen #4: That nigga wear contacts.
–A train
Overheard by: TMI
Teen girl #1: I don’t think people understand the gravity of the situation. Nobody seems excited. We’re in an actual Springfield Kwik-E-Mart!
Teen girl #2: I know. When I tell my grandkids I went to a Kwik-E-Mart [trails off]…
–7-Eleven/Kwik-E-Mart near Times Square
Teen girl #1: So then what happened?
Teen girl #2: So he’s bleeding all over the place, and his friends, his genius friends, say to him, ‘Just piss on yourself!’
–6th Ave, between 43rd & 44th St
Overheard by: Sam
Teen boy: Your wife’s a bitch, you know that?
Man: My wife is your mother!
Teen boy: Well, I’m just saying.
–Broadway
White teen girl, about statue of Alexander Hamilton: Look at him! I mean, he’s such a dreamboat… That’s why he’s my favorite federalist.
Mom: And what did your class call him?
White teen girl: Hammy! And he was big pals with B-Frank, and Johnny Ads, and G-Dubya, and J-Marsh, and… And… And I can’t remember any more founding fathers, but of course they all had their own gangsta names, too. They were big pimpin’ over there in Independence Hall. The only things they were missing were the hos… And that’s why Abby A. wanted them to remember the ladies.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: That other girl
Teen #1: Yo, I think Johnny graduated high school this year!
Teen #2: Are you sure, yo? That don’t sound like him.
Teen #1: Yeah. I walked by his house the other day and there were balloons and shit.
Teen #2: Shit, that don’t mean nothin’. That nigga always be celebratin’ somethin’.
–Port Authority
Teen boy #1: We’ve had three or four pregnancy scares.
Teen boy #2: What?!
Teen boy #1: Yeah. One time it turned out she just skipped her period… But it just feels so good to finish inside! It feels heavenly. It’s probably what it feels like to meet God.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Taylor
Teen girl #1: What do you want to do now?
Teen girl #2: Get something to eat.
Teen girl #1: Ew!
–59th & Columbus
Teen girl #1: See, this is why we can’t be friends.
Teen girl #2: What? We can’t be friends because I won’t join you in an orgy.
Teen girl #1: Yes, exactly.
–74th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Dani
