Teen girl: Man, I didn’t do anything this week to make me less sick.
Teen guy: Yeah, you smoked, drank, and sucked dick.
Teen girl: I didn’t drink.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Bryan
Teen girl: Man, I didn’t do anything this week to make me less sick.
Teen guy: Yeah, you smoked, drank, and sucked dick.
Teen girl: I didn’t drink.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Bryan
Teen girl #1: I just wish there was some middle ground. Like, if they could take the baby out without killing it.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, I know what you’re talking about.
Teen girl #1: But with rape, I think it’s totally wrong. It’s her fault.
Teen girl #2: Really? Why?
Teen girl #1: If you’re walking down a dark alley all alone, you have it coming to you. You should know better. It’s totally your own fault.
–42nd & 6th
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
Angry lady to boyfriend: They don’t pay my fucking rent! They don’t eat my fucking pussy!
–E 9th & 5th
Man on cell: It comes down to about seven dollars a blowjob.
–59th & 5th
Wheelbo, politely: Excuse me, does the bus stop here? [Ignored, so addresses next passerby politely] Pardon me, ma’am? Are you looking for a dick to suck?
–42nd & Madison
Overheard by: No, I am not.
SVA photography teacher: You’d have a better time giving head to King Kong than using this method.
–SVA, 21st & 3rd
Overheard by: student
Kid on cell: … So I said, ‘You can suck my dick for some of your spaghetti.’
–Outside hardware store, 102nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Josh
Dude: If I could’ve gone down on a donkey I would have done it.
–W New York hotel, Union Square
17-year-old girl on cell: So, this girl was eating me out, right? [Pause] Oh, sorry, I have the wrong number.
–Starbucks, Union Square West
Suburban teen #1: Guess what my dad got me for my birthday!
Suburban teen #2: What?
Suburban teen #1: An Escalade.
Suburban teen #2: Really?! That’s such a ghetto car!
Passerby: You kids are fuckin’ ignorant.
–B train
Overheard by: Zack
Teen #1: So this kid, Jason — every time we go to a party, he takes a bunch of beers and hides them around whoever’s house we’re at.
Teen #2: You mean, where nobody could find them?
Teen #1: Yeah — in a potted plant, an underwear drawer, the mailbox — anywhere that will ensure him a beer later on.
Teen #2: Christ, he’s like an alcoholic Easter Bunny.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: derwin
Teen #1: Hey, man, I think we should get our important stuff laminated. No one ever questions lamination.
Teen #2: Yeah, I could get my hall pass and be at a club and the bouncer would let me in.
Teen #1: Yeah, because of the lamination.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Toastuh
Puerto Rican girl to another: I never dated a white guy, ’cause they got bad taste in underwear.
–Subway station, Times Square
Overheard by: Mama
Chick: … So I was dancing in the kitchen in my underwear and I looked out the window and the orthodox Yeshiva student guy that lives across the building from me was just staring open-mouthed. I’m never gonna open the curtains in the kitchen again.
–181st St
Overheard by: LSB
Mother to toddler son: Now, honey, close your eyes. This isn’t for you.
–Frederick’s of Hollywood, King’s Plaza
Queer: I totally go out of my way to wear edible thongs to work.
–Library Bar, Houston & Ave A
Overheard by: Rachel W.
Teen girl quickly descending staircase: I didn’t wear a bra again today. My boobs are bouncing down these stairs!
–Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island
Suit on cell: Well, I mean, I have thongs… But I really don’t consider those underwear…
–W 4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Laura
Teen boy: Mom, is it true that some people are both a man and a woman?
Mom: Yes. Well, sort of. Can we talk about this when we get home?
Teen boy: So does that mean they have, like, both–
Mom: –Yes, honey, now be quiet for a little while, okay?
Teen boy: Does that mean they can, like, do the slinky?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Mike N
Teen: Don’t touch my freshman!
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Liz
Teen boy: I can’t scream. I lost my voice doing the Hokey Pokey.
–98th & 5th
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Thug teen: Hey, guys, you see those cops over there? Watch this… Fuck the police! Hahaha — oh, shit, they’re coming over here… Run!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Mike N
14-year-old girl: I had like eight shots of vodka, and I didn’t get drunk or anything. I just couldn’t feel my face.
–Forest Hills
Overheard by: Sofa
Teen kid: Dude, there’s like nothing to do here.
–Central Park West
Guy: Can I get some cigars?
Attendant: Yeah, are you over 18?
Guy: Yeah.
Attendant: That’s cool. I’m only 17. I’m just really high.
–Soho
