Teen boy: Mom, is it true that some people are both a man and a woman?
Mom: Yes. Well, sort of. Can we talk about this when we get home?
Teen boy: So does that mean they have, like, both–
Mom: –Yes, honey, now be quiet for a little while, okay?
Teen boy: Does that mean they can, like, do the slinky?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Mike N
Teen: Don’t touch my freshman!
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Liz
Teen boy: I can’t scream. I lost my voice doing the Hokey Pokey.
–98th & 5th
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Thug teen: Hey, guys, you see those cops over there? Watch this… Fuck the police! Hahaha — oh, shit, they’re coming over here… Run!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Mike N
14-year-old girl: I had like eight shots of vodka, and I didn’t get drunk or anything. I just couldn’t feel my face.
–Forest Hills
Overheard by: Sofa
Teen kid: Dude, there’s like nothing to do here.
–Central Park West
Guy: Can I get some cigars?
Attendant: Yeah, are you over 18?
Guy: Yeah.
Attendant: That’s cool. I’m only 17. I’m just really high.
–Soho
Teen chick #1: So, what? Are you sick of all us girls now?
Teen boy: Yeah.
Teen chick #2: Why, because you’ve hooked up with all of us?
Teen boy: Yeah.
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Teen girl #1: Does my smell really bother you that much?
Teen girl #2: It’s like raw sewage. Or a diaper that’s been sitting a real long time.
–6 train
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Teen guy: You are the most unashamed person I’ve ever met.
Teen girl: Yeah, just don’t start talking about opening my openings again.
–5 train
Overheard by: dara
Teen girl exploring her purse: Band-Aids, tampons… Basically, a lot of things to stop bleeding.
Teen boy staring: Ew, gross.
–Starbucks, Union Square
Teen: I’m gonna run for sturgeon general one day.
Father: A sturgeon is a fish. It’s Surgeon General, and you can’t run for it, the president appoints you.
Teen: Then I’ll make him appoint me.
Father: You also have to be a doctor, and in the military… And we know you’re not smart enough to be a doctor.
Teen: [Puzzled, offended.]Father: You could run for Secretary of Defense, though, and you don’t really have to be that smart to do that.
Teen, excitedly: Cool, I like guns!
–A train
Overheard by: Sean
Obnoxious teen #1: Oh my god! You like her? She’s a whore!
Obnoxious teen #2: Ummm… She’s in my math class, you know. She’s really smart.
Obnoxious teen #1: Smart and a whore. That just means she won’t get an STD.
–Nail salon, Bleecker St
Overheard by: Samideluxe
Teen chick hugging teen boy: Bye, baby, I’m gonna miss you so much.
Teen boy: I farted.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lois
