Portrait of the Ear, Nose, and Throat Doctor As a Young Man

Teen guy: You are the most unashamed person I’ve ever met.
Teen girl: Yeah, just don’t start talking about opening my openings again.

–5 train

Overheard by: dara

Posted on February 23, 2007
Body Parts, On the Subway, Teens

Alum, Needle and Thread, Krazy Glue…

Teen girl exploring her purse: Band-Aids, tampons… Basically, a lot of things to stop bleeding.
Teen boy staring: Ew, gross.

–Starbucks, Union Square

Posted on February 15, 2007
Blood & bleeding, Starbucks, Teens

But Are You Willing to Ignore Months and Months of Reliable Intelligence?

Teen: I’m gonna run for sturgeon general one day.
Father: A sturgeon is a fish. It’s Surgeon General, and you can’t run for it, the president appoints you.
Teen: Then I’ll make him appoint me.
Father: You also have to be a doctor, and in the military… And we know you’re not smart enough to be a doctor.
Teen: [Puzzled, offended.]Father: You could run for Secretary of Defense, though, and you don’t really have to be that smart to do that.
Teen, excitedly: Cool, I like guns!

–A train

Overheard by: Sean

Posted on February 11, 2007
Dads, Jobs & Careers, On the Subway, Teens

And College Is All Paid For

Obnoxious teen #1: Oh my god! You like her? She’s a whore!
Obnoxious teen #2: Ummm… She’s in my math class, you know. She’s really smart.
Obnoxious teen #1: Smart and a whore. That just means she won’t get an STD.

–Nail salon, Bleecker St

Overheard by: Samideluxe

Posted on February 8, 2007
Assholes, Education, Girls, Insults, School and studying, Science, STDs, Students, Teens, The Village

Your Ass-Song Stays on My Mind

Teen chick hugging teen boy: Bye, baby, I’m gonna miss you so much.
Teen boy: I farted.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Lois

Posted on February 8, 2007
Farting & Burping, Teens, Times Square

Needles Just Aren’t Cool Anymore

Teen boy #1: Would you do Jane?
Teen boy #2: Well, she’s pretty hot… Got nice tits and all, but don’t you consider diabetes a turn-off?
Teen boy #1: Yeah, dude, totally.

–Metro-North, 125th St stop

Overheard by: Ek CrIsp

Posted on February 6, 2007
Beauty, Boys, Idiots, Illness, Players, Sex, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Teens, Trains Not Subway

Have You Thought about Giving Up Catholicism?

High schooler #1: I want to give up something for Lent, but I’m not sure what.
High schooler #2: Why don’t you give up TV?
High schooler #1: What?! Are you crazy? I would just die! Especially in the winter months — my face would just melt off.

–BX10 bus, Bronx

Overheard by: Princessbeena

Posted on January 29, 2007
Advice, Christianity, On the Bus, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Teens

And Now Don’t We Wish They Hadn’t?

Teen #1: It’s one word!
Teen #2: No it ain’t, it’s two!
Teen #1: No, it’s one word!
Teen #2: Two!
Teen #1: One!
Teen #2: ‘MySpace’ is two words!
Teen #1: No it ain’t — it’s ‘MySpace’ — it’s a compount word. They made it up!

–Jamaica-bound E train

Overheard by: JHA