Teen boy #1: So the other day I was watching TV and I said out loud, “Fuck, I wish I didn’t just eat all those Doritos.” And then I was like, “Wait, I didn’t just eat any Doritos.” And now I’m like, “Maybe I had one wish and I blew it on Doritos.” You know?
Teen boy #2: Damn, dawg. That sucks.
–D train
Teen boy #1: Does your mom know you’re going to the Nine Inch Nails concert?
Teen girl #1: I just turned 15, my mom would shit if she knew I was going to the Nine Inch Nails concert. I told her I was going to miss my PSAT class because you had a surprise for me for my birthday. She thinks you are taking me out for dinner.
Teen girl #2: What will you tell her when you get home after midnight?
Teen girl #1: I don’t know.
Teen boy #2: Tell her that he took you to a Broadway show.
They discuss theater.
Teen girl #1: Oh, I’d love to go to a Broadway show, can you take me sometime?
Teen boy #1: No, that would cost like $500.
Teen girl #2: My parents aren’t even home, they went on a cruise.
Teen girl #1: Can we go on a cruise?
Teen boy #2: A cruise is expensive; it costs like $3,000 a person.
Teen girl #2: It doesn’t cost that much.
Teen boy #2: Well, I don’t know how much it costs, but it fucking costs a lot.
Teen boy #1: Do you have the money for the tickets?
Teen girl #1: No, I only have like $6. I forgot to take my wallet, my lunch and my birth control.
Woman: Let’s raise our kids in the Philippines.
–LIRR
Man: Shouldn’t you kids be in school?
Teen girl: Shouldn’t you be in Japan?
–F train
Overheard by: Cristopher
Teen girl #1: You ever watched My Super Sweet 16?
Teen girl #2: Yeah. Don’t you just hate those snobby rude girls?
Teen girl #1: No, it’s kinda cool how they can be rude to their parents and get away with it.
–Bx12 bus
Teen girl: I wouldn’t call me bi but more curious. Nut when I was fooling around with her I thought to myself, “I’d definitely do this again.”
–1 train
Overheard by: Mike Smith
Teen boy: What are you eating?
Teen girl: It’s called…Gateau.
Teen boy: What’s Gateau?
Teen girl: Like…fancy French cake.
Teen boy: Sounds Gateau-fabulous.
–N train
Overheard by: valerie
Teen boy: My puppy is probably going to die soon.
Teen girl: Aw, when?
Teen boy: Probably by next September, he’ll be a corpse.
Teen girl: Wait, why?
Teen boy: He has obsessive-compulsive disorder.
–Central Park
Teen boy: Wow, look, another homeless guy! They’re all over!
–21st & Park
Two teens are watching Jeopardy! through a store glass window.
Teen boy #1: I can read lips; that guy said he liked to suck cock.
Teen boy #2: You mean, “What is, ‘I like to suck cock’?”
–14th & B
Overheard by: meghan
