Teen girl #1: She once said to me, “I was thinking about us kissing in the shower.”
Teen girl #2: I hope you were wearing clothes.
–Canal & Broadway
Guy #1: Does she even shower?
Guy #2: That’s what I asked him. But then he said, “Not only does she shower, but then she licks my ass and jacks me off. It’s fucking great!”
–22nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Erin B
Man #1: You smell great!
Man #2: Thanks. I haven’t bathed since eleven.
–70th & Amsterdam
Teen girl: What the fuck is a morning rubber? I’ve got to get a morning rubber.
Chick: God, you are such a virgin! You put a morning rubber on a morning glory, for God’s sake.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Pi.
Teen guido boy #1: I was going down on her and her pussy tasted like peach Snapple.
Teen guido boy #2: The iced tea, right?
–Colonnade Diner, Staten Island
News guy: Get your special AM Metro News! Special edition; last one for the year. Get two: one to read and one to frame.
–32nd & 7th
Overheard by: Mary Beth Hanlon
Teen boy: I really wanted to drink some champagne, but I didn’t have any flutes, so I had to drink it out of a wine glass.
Teen girl: That’s really embarrassing.
–Barney’s, Madison Avenue
Wheelbo: Happy new year! Happy new year!…Fuck your mother!
–9th Street & 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Eric
Guy: I guess “not funny” is the new “funny”.
–Comedy Cellar, Macdougal Street
Girl #1: My brother’s started taking marijuana and I’m worried cause he’s only 17.
Girl #2: I’m so anti-drugs because my dad’s brother died of a drug overdose.
Girl #1: Was it a marijuana overdose?
–Columbia University
Teen boy #1: Get some straws!
Teen boy #2: Nah man, I’m allergic.
–Union Square Regal Cinemas
Overheard by: Talia & Syd
Man: You dropped something.
Teen girl: What?
Man: You dropped something.
Teen girl: No, I didn’t.
Man: Yeah, you did…You dropped my heart.
Teen girl: Well, pick it up and put it back in.
–90th between Columbus & Amsterdam
Teen girl #1: Hey, we could go as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, that’s a good one
Teen girl #1: You’d only need a mask…They’re frogs, right?
–Urban Outfitters, 72nd & Broadway
Teen girl: You know that dream I keep having where I kill you on Madison Avenue? I think it’s coming true.
Mom: Oh look, the Chanel store!
Teen girl: Uh oh.
–Madison between 63rd & 64th
Teen boy #1: I’m starving. If I had three wishes, I’d ask for three David’s bagels.
Teen boy #2: Why not just use one wish and ask for three bagels?
–A train
Overheard by: Jarett Wieselman
