Teen girl: What the fuck is a morning rubber? I’ve got to get a morning rubber.
Chick: God, you are such a virgin! You put a morning rubber on a morning glory, for God’s sake.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Pi.
Teen girl: What the fuck is a morning rubber? I’ve got to get a morning rubber.
Chick: God, you are such a virgin! You put a morning rubber on a morning glory, for God’s sake.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Pi.
Suit: So my Dad just got back from New Orleans.
Girl: Wow; did he say it was like a disaster down there?
Suit: No, he said it was like a fucking flood went through there, idiot.
–Times Square shuttle
Guy #1: Before I forget, I got four Yankee tickets for us tomorrow night. I’m gonna bring my father.
Guy #2: Did you get these tickets from a scalper?
Guy #1: Yeah.
Guy #2: Well, the Yankees don’t play in December. Neither does any other team. Baseball season ended almost two months ago, dumbass. You got fuckin duped. How much did you pay for these?
Guy #1: Ah, shit. Like a hundred bucks.
Guy #2: Dumbass.
Guy #1: Then why did my father ask me to get tickets for tomorrow night’s game if they’re not even playing?
Guy #2: I don’t know. He’s probably a dumbass like you. You’re a whole family of dumbasses.
–Starbucks, 42nd & Broadway
Man: Is this where we get off?
–Times Square shuttle
Girl #1: So, I’ve been thinking, I think I could be a lesbian. You know, get really really close with a girl. But I don’t think I would want to hook up!
Girl #2: So…kinda like friends?
Girl #1: Oh yeah. I guess so.
Girl #3: So does that make us all lesbians?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Zoe Valen
Tourist guy: Officer, what’s happening?
Cop guy: What’s happening? Rush hour’s happening!
–Times Square station
Guy #1: That guy from the Red Sox is over there.
Girl: Which one?
Guy #1: The one who just quit.
Girl: No way! Let’s fuck with him.
Guy #2: Watch out, he’s from Boston and he looks pissed.
Guy #1: No, we should piss on his shoes!
–Times Square
Overheard by: coma toast
