Tourist guy: Officer, what’s happening?
Cop guy: What’s happening? Rush hour’s happening!
–Times Square station
Tourist guy: Officer, what’s happening?
Cop guy: What’s happening? Rush hour’s happening!
–Times Square station
Guy #1: That guy from the Red Sox is over there.
Girl: Which one?
Guy #1: The one who just quit.
Girl: No way! Let’s fuck with him.
Guy #2: Watch out, he’s from Boston and he looks pissed.
Guy #1: No, we should piss on his shoes!
–Times Square
Overheard by: coma toast
Southern woman: Excuse me, sir? We aren’t from around here but could you tell me where Times Square is?
NY Man: Yeah, it’s a bit uptown from here, you’re lookin’ for 125th street. It’ll say Harlem but don’t let it throw you off.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Carl Krickmire
Tourist guy: Excuse me, where is the subway?
NY guy: Sorry, I don’t speak English.
–Rockefeller Center
Girl: Oh my god, you skullfucked a snowman? That definitely was porn!
Guy: It wasn’t porn, it was art. I was covered in blue glitter.
Girl: Sweetie, that just makes it gay porn.
–Times Square
Flyers guy: Here ladies–free comedy show.
Tourist girl: No, thanks.
Flyers guy: Come on. It’s free.
Tourist girl: Yeah, but, we don’t like humor.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ashley Gordon
Guy on cell: When you get here I will make you breakfast sausage. And I am not talking euphemistically.
–63rd & 1st
Overheard by: Alison Foster
Woman: Nigga, where you goin’?
Boy: Mom, action figures!
Woman: Nigga, the action figures is right here!
–Toys R’ Us, Times Square
