Tourists

Tourist to no one in particular: Which way is the gay area?
Queer in black leather gear: You’re here.
Tourist: Where are the gay stores?
Queer in black leather gear: All around here.
Tourist: Where are the gay people?
Tourist friend: I think they go out more in the night time, right?
Queer in black leather gear: Go back to Kansas.

–16th & 8th

Overheard by: amalia

Tourist man: Look, there’s the Empire State Building!
Tourist woman: No, that’s not it. Unless they rebuilt it because it doesn’t look like that.

–34th & 6th

Overheard by: Trisha Simoes

Hopelessly lost tourist: How do you get to Broadway?
Irritable local: Practice.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Kelly

Tourist chick: Of course he doesn’t speak English…at least until you piss on his floor.

–Chinatown

Male hipster: I was all excited for Central Park, you know, and then I remembered: I've seen trees before.

–Central Park

Tourist, looking at souvenir photos of Central Park: You never realize how… central it is.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Xanthias

Tourist, looking down at map: Wait a second, guys, I can't find Central Park.

–Penn Station

Overdressed, overly made-up girl: The thing I don't like about Central Park is that it's too much like a forest.

–Central Park

Tour guide: So you guys said you liked The Velvet Underground, right?
Various tour members: Yes.
Tourist wife to husband: No, we don't.

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: j

Two tourists spot the people camped out in front of the Mexican Consulate.

Tourist #1: Are all those people trying to get tickets to a concert or something?
Tourist #2: Maybe. Do you think that’s Radio City?

–39th & Madison

Comedy show guy: Would you folks like to go to stand-up comedy tonight?
Tourist group leader: Well, do we have to have to stand the whole time?

–43rd & Broadway

Overheard by: organizedchaos

Lady: Excuse me, can I borrow a light?
Tanktop girl: Sure.
Lady: Thank you so much. [Turns and whispers to guy she’s with:] See, I told you. I think if you’re nice to them, they’re nice to you.
Tanktop girl: Tourists are so cute.

–Outside Welcome to the Johnsons, Rivington & Norfolk

Overheard by: djlindee

Tourist #1, pointing to an anti-war protest in Times Square: What's that?
Tourist #2: I think it's TRL.

–43rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Mike Fish