Flyer girl: Macbeth with Patrick Stewart!
Tourist: Is that a magician?
–TKTS
Flyer girl: Macbeth with Patrick Stewart!
Tourist: Is that a magician?
–TKTS
Tourist lady #1: I can’t believe they only have five stalls in here!
Tourist lady #2: Oh, you just wait until you get into the city — there’s less there!
Tourist lady #1: Oh…
Tourist lady #2: Yeah, you’ll be peeing in your cup!
Woman stranger in stall: I’ve done that!
–Bathroom, JFK
Guy: So where did you say you are from again?
Southern girl: Alabama.
Guy: Hmm. I’ve never been to Alabama. I’ve been to Louisiana, though.
Southern girl: Ugh. It’s all the same thing. If you’ve been to one racist, idiot hellhole, you’ve been to them all.
–F train
Tourist chick: He’s not gay, he’s just neurotic!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Scott
Girl: He’s not gay, he just has a lot of feelings!
–Grand Central
Hipster on cell: Yo, I want to tell you something. I do not want to go down on everyone… Well, I’m not gay, so that cuts it in half right there.
–17th & 8th
Suit to himself: Thanks, but I’m not gay!
–45th & 6th
Overheard by: Alisa
Little boy sitting with haggard-looking mom singing to the tune of Pinky and the Brain song: My penis, my penis is not gay, gay, gay, gay, gay!
–1 train
Overheard by: wondering what network plays reruns of Pinky and the Brain
Tourist to no one in particular: Which way is the gay area?
Queer in black leather gear: You’re here.
Tourist: Where are the gay stores?
Queer in black leather gear: All around here.
Tourist: Where are the gay people?
Tourist friend: I think they go out more in the night time, right?
Queer in black leather gear: Go back to Kansas.
–16th & 8th
Overheard by: amalia
Tourist man: Look, there’s the Empire State Building!
Tourist woman: No, that’s not it. Unless they rebuilt it because it doesn’t look like that.
–34th & 6th
Overheard by: Trisha Simoes
Hopelessly lost tourist: How do you get to Broadway?
Irritable local: Practice.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Kelly
Tourist chick: Of course he doesn’t speak English…at least until you piss on his floor.
–Chinatown
Male hipster: I was all excited for Central Park, you know, and then I remembered: I've seen trees before.
–Central Park
Tourist, looking at souvenir photos of Central Park: You never realize how… central it is.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Xanthias
Tourist, looking down at map: Wait a second, guys, I can't find Central Park.
–Penn Station
Overdressed, overly made-up girl: The thing I don't like about Central Park is that it's too much like a forest.
–Central Park
Tour guide: So you guys said you liked The Velvet Underground, right?
Various tour members: Yes.
Tourist wife to husband: No, we don't.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: j
