Customer: Are any of your soups vegetarian?
Soup guy: Yes, the lentil and vegetable soups are.
Customer: I don’t trust you.
Soup guy: I make the soups.
Customer: Well, I just don’t trust you.
Soup guy, to next customer: Can I help you?
Customer: Hang on now, I still don’t trust you!
–Pax, 40th & 6th Ave
Waiter: Why don’t they just make commercial flamethrowers?
Maître d’: I dunno, but how else are you supposed to kill zombies?
–Cascata Café, Bleecker
Patron: What do you suggest if I don't want red meat?
Luger's waiter: Another restaurant.
–Peter Luger's
Overheard by: glad I didn't ask for their tofu dish
Overly tanned gentleman with crisp white shirt: Yo, my brotha, you gotta bib?
Waiter: Uhhh…
–Cafe, Forest Hills
Overheard by: Amanda
Waiter: …and how about a bread? Perhaps a poori or naan bread.
Guy: Naan for me thanks.
Waiter: Are you sure? It is very good bread…
–Mitali, E. 6th St.
Overheard by: John
Waiter: We do have a great selection of cocktails.
Customer: That just makes me feel queer.
–Max Brenner’s, 14th & Broadway
Customer: How’s the hummus?
Waiter: It tastes like tree bark.
–Around the Clock Cafe
Waiter: I’ve got chocolate all over my pants!
–Cold Springs
Construction man to Indian restaurant server: Can I get a chicken lo mein?
Server: Uh… That's Chinese food, this is an Indian food restaurant. The Chinese take-out is next door, but it's closed.
Construction man to walkie talkie: Hey, Charlie, this is a Thai place and they don't have chicken lo mein. Want something else instead?
–Indian Restaurant, Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: HungryMan
