Rich woman #1: Sodomized? Sodomy?
Rich woman #2: Dahmer. That’s who you’re thinking of. Jeffrey Dahmer.
–6 train, 23rd St
Rich woman #1: Sodomized? Sodomy?
Rich woman #2: Dahmer. That’s who you’re thinking of. Jeffrey Dahmer.
–6 train, 23rd St
Coworker #1: I just found out what ‘queef’ means.
Coworker #2: You’re on speakerphone.
Coworker #1: Queef, queef, queef, queef.
–Midtown office
Overheard by: Ruth
Bar patron dude: No, I don’t think you’re using that right. A ‘moment of clarity’ is a concept from Alcoholics Anonymous.
Bartender chick: But you’re not an alcoholic! So your moment of clarity is when you finally get served booze!
–Library bar, Houston & Ave A
Overheard by: E.Vill. Genius
Dork #1 snickering and pointing at deli awning: D and D deli!
Dork #2: I gotta get a picture of that!
–Soho
Woman #1: It’s hot as Haiti in this store.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Isn’t it supposed to be hot there?
Woman #2: I think you mean ‘Hades.’
Woman #1: No. It’s a place in the Caribbean.
–Banana Republic, 42nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Not Haitian
Bimbette: I think Sandy* has dyslexia.
Friend: How do you know? You’re not in any of her classes.
Bimbette: I know, but she’s just so skinny.
–Madison Ave
Girl: I went to this awesome Italian restaurant last night.
Boy: Oh, yeah? What did you have?
Girl: This thing called ‘Prophylactic.’
Boy: That’s ‘Profiterole,’ you dumbass.
–20th St & 5th Ave
Toddler pointing out window: Fuck, fuck.
Mother: No, that’s ‘truck.’ Tuh-tuh-tuh-truck.
Toddler: Tuh-tuh-tuh-fuck.
Mother: Oh, man.
–Dean & Deluca
Guy: What’s so funny? Vagina? I’m not scared to say ‘vagina,’ watch: Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina!
–Grand Army Plaza
Columbia student: Do strippers use their vaginas?
–Massawa Ethiopian, 120th & Amsterdam
Girl wearing jerz shirt: Guys, if I zipped my pussy, of course I would tell you.
–27th St
Middle school boy to another: Do you know what a ‘cunt’ is? It’s a pussy. [Pause] You should know that, it’s Jamaican.
–B69 bus
Overheard by: Bilingual
Guy standing in pile of luggage outside women’s restroom: Man, I’m glad my vagina’s not with me today.
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: A Vagina
Girl: Hew-ston, we have a problem.
Mom: How-ston, honey. Houston, we have a problem.
–NY Animal Control Center
