Wednesday One-Liners Fail English? That Unpossible.

Crackhead girl talking to old pimp: I don’t know why for she call you… Just to be talkin’ shit… You know how I be is…

–Bed-Stuy

Vassar student: If I spoke France fluently, I’d be there right now!

–West 7th & Avenue T

Man leaning into friend’s car window: Nah, she aight… Nah, she aight… Nah, she aight. [Sees a guy across the street] Hey, man, you aight? Aight… Nah, she aight…

–150th & Macombs

Black woman: He coulda played for the Bears, he coulda played for the Jets, but nothing never stucked.

–14th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: off white

Earnest student giving presentation: I was going to talk about Freud, but I decided he was tangenital to the discussion.

–NYU Silver Center

Overheard by: She wasn’t kidding, and no one laughed

Artistic hipster wannabe: Also, not to get too psychoanaliterature…

–Starbucks, Union Square West

Overheard by: Benjamin

Thug: Yo, nigga, don’t make me yo’ escapegoat!

–4 train, Bronx

Overheard by: charles elliot

Posted on January 31, 2007
All Wednesday One-Liners, Books & Writing, Education, Global Geography, Gripes, Languages, Psychology, Race, Sports, Stupidity, Threats, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary, Wishes & desires, Words

And Now Don’t We Wish They Hadn’t?

Teen #1: It’s one word!
Teen #2: No it ain’t, it’s two!
Teen #1: No, it’s one word!
Teen #2: Two!
Teen #1: One!
Teen #2: ‘MySpace’ is two words!
Teen #1: No it ain’t — it’s ‘MySpace’ — it’s a compount word. They made it up!

–Jamaica-bound E train

Overheard by: JHA

Posted on January 29, 2007
Myspace, On the Subway, Teens, Words

If Only I’d Brought My Gangsta-Hipster Dictionary

Gangster: Get yo’ nasty-ass skips the fuck outta here.
Hipster chick: Oh my god, why is he so mad at me? And what are skips?

–A train

Overheard by: Fultron-a-thon

Posted on January 27, 2007
Hipsters, On the Subway, Thugs, Words

Vagina 101 Is a Prerequisite for This Course

Hipster chick: [Whispering]… Vagina. [Whispering]… Vagina. [Whispering]… Haha, vagina!
Six people collectively: Shut up!
Four-year-old boy: Mom, what’s a vagina?
Mom: It’s a word that only fucking inconsiderate people say around four-year-olds.
Four-year-old: Mom, what’s ‘fucking’?

–A train

Overheard by: Alex Gherardi aka Booger

Posted on January 26, 2007
Hipsters, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Vagina, Words

I Am Supercuts. ‘I Am Supercuts!’

Drunk NYU dude: Dude, check it out! Spartacus!
Tipsy NYU dude: What?!
Drunk NYU dude: See? Spartacus!
Tipsy NYU dude: Dude, that says, ‘Supercuts.’

–11th St & University Pl

Posted on January 26, 2007
Drunks, Stupidity, The Village, Words

We’ll Have to Take the MUH-TAA to Get There

Lady: Hey, I have to get going to that puh-taa meeting tonight.
Husband: That what meeting?!
Lady: Puh-taa. For the school…
Husband: … You mean the P.T.A. meeting?
Lady: You know that’s what I meant!

–W 5th St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Patricia

Posted on January 25, 2007
Brooklyn, Couples, Stupidity, Words

Farmer: And I Still Would If I Thought I Could Get Away with It

Black guy: Yo, you know what ‘FUBU’ stand for?
Black girl: Yeah, ‘For Us, by Us.’
Black guy: Naw, it stand for ‘Farmers Used to Beat Us.’
Black girl: It does not! It’s ‘For Us, by Us’!
Black guy: That’s what they want you to think. Everybody knows it’s ‘Farmers Used to Beat Us.’
Black girl: There ain’t no ‘T’ in ‘FUBU’!
Black guy: That don’t matter.
Black girl: You ign’ant, nigga!

–Midtown

Overheard by: Greg Reeves

Posted on January 22, 2007
Black People, Fashion, Fighting and ass kicking, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Names, Race, Stupidity, Words

Only Way to Learn Anything

Mother to friend: So, I had a hot flash the other day, and I was like, ‘Oh my god! Am I going through menopause?’ and–
Son: –Mom! What does ‘menopause’ mean? [Mother ignores him.] If you don’t tell me, I’ll yell it in public until you do!

–Starbucks

Posted on January 19, 2007
Age/Aging, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Moms, Starbucks, Words

Wednesday One-Liners Come under Fire from the FCC

Girl on cell: I have that freshly fucked feeling.

–The Gap, Bensonhurst

Lady on cell: Do you remember the guy who used to be in Grand Central all the time? The one with the doll… The doll he would fuck. He and the doll would do a fuck dance. He had it strapped to him at all times.

–Outside NYU dorm, E 14th St

Overheard by: college graduate

White trash gas station attendant: Life got a lot easier once I decided not to give a fuck.

–233rd St & Jerome Ave

Overheard by: Patrick Di Justo

Suit to another: Whatever, it’s New York. I’m expecting to get told ‘F-you’ like 17 times.

–LaGuardia airport

Overheard by: Raja

Ghetto girl licking fingers and lips after consuming hot dog: Mmm, girrrl… I fucked that hot dog up!

–Mercer and W. 4th

Dude: Ma… Ma, I only used the F-word once, Ma. I’m fucking serious here.

–44th & Broadway

Overheard by: Tourist from Canadia

Little boy shouting to friend across the street: I just learned how to say ‘Fuck’!

–Irving & Greene, Bushwick

Overheard by: Andy

Posted on January 17, 2007
All Wednesday One-Liners, Kids, On Cell, Suits, White Trash, Words

Words