Words

Guy #1: …and I’m like, “Holy shit! What’s your fucking problem?” Sorry, excuse my French.
Girl: It’s okay, I’m not offended.
Guy #2: You speak French?

–Coney Island

Overheard by: Kay Baby

Guy: Do you have Bareback Mountain?

–The Strand

Girl: The Columbia Safe Van driver ran a red light and blindsided my cab yesterday!
Guy: I know it’s hard to provide students with a good definition of irony, but honestly.

–Broadway & 116th

Hobo: What’s the best in the nation? Hey you, what’s the best in the nation?
Guy: The best what?
Hobo: In the nation. What’s the best in the nation?
Girl #1: The best what in the nation?
Hobo: You know, like country.
Girl #1: Oh, you mean what’s the best country?
Hobo: Yeah. Nation.
Girl #1: The United States!
Hobo: Wrong!
Girl #2: Red Sox nation!
Hobo: Wrong!
Guy: Nigeria?
Hobo: Wrong! The best in the nation…the best nation is a donation! Gimme a nickel.

–2nd Avenue & 7th Street

Overheard by: Carmen Nobel

Man on cell: Yeah, I’m going to see a farce tonight…It’s gonna be awesome. Wait, what’s a farce? That’s a comedy, right? Right?

–46th & 8th

Overheard by: Chad

Girl #1: She wouldn’t even take his name?
Girl #2: And she even refused to hyphenate? That’s ridiculous.

–6 train

Girl: Have some! Please!
Guy: Uh, no. I hate bananas.
Girl: Come on! This shit is bananas! B-a-n-a-n-a-s!
Guy: B-a-n-a-no.

–Chat ‘n’ Chew, East 16th Street

Yuppie man #1: Hey, John is going to be in town tomorrow night, we’re all going to go out
Yuppie man #2: Oh shit, I can’t go. I’ve got a date tomorrow night.
Yuppie man #1: What? Are you serious? Fuck the date, man.
Yuppie man #2: No, yeah. I know, that’s exactly what I got to do.

–Riviera Cafe and Sports Bar, W. 4th Street

Drunk girl: I need to put on lipstick.
Sober guy: Why?
Drunk girl: Because I have a guy coming to see me…he has hair and is taller than me.

–56th & 9th

Guy #1: Isn’t that the Norwegian metal band where the drummer is eight and he killed the lead singer?
Guy #2: No, the drummer ate the lead singer.

–1st Avenue & 6th Street