Girl #1: How excited would you be if we saw Johnny Depp?
Girl #2: I’d probably pee my pants and then pass out.
–Wall St
Overheard by: Jenny
Girl #1: How excited would you be if we saw Johnny Depp?
Girl #2: I’d probably pee my pants and then pass out.
–Wall St
Overheard by: Jenny
Aaron: D’you remember that show when Duffy was married to Suzanne Somers?
Friend: (pissed) Aaron! Get it through your head, bro. I fucking hate Patrick Duffy.
Aaron: Who the fuck hates Patrick Duffy? That’s like hating the dad from Boy Meets World.
Friend: Are you fucking serious right now?
–45th & 3rd
Overheard by: AdHoculi
Guy #1: So I basically came up with a question that doesn't have an answer. Would you do Jessica Simpson, I mean really Jessica Simpson, but the catch is she is the size of Shaquille O'Neal? Like 300 pounds and 7 feet tall but still really truly Jessica Simpson.
Guy #2: You're right, I don't have an answer.
Guy #1: Yeah, neither did Kevin when I asked him last night. What a mind blow…
–6 Train
Overheard by: Mark
Old woman, looking at 19th Century European painting of a woman: She looks like someone I know…
Old man: Linda Ronstadt.
Old woman: Yes.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Woman #1: Guess who I sat next to at dinner last night?
Woman #2: I have no clue. Jimmy Fallon?
Woman #1: No. Denzel Washington!
Woman #2: Omigod!
Woman #1: I know, I love him!
Woman #2: I loved him as God in Bruce Almighty. That was him, wasn’t it?
Woman #1: No, that was Morgan Freeman, you dumb fuck.
–45th Street 7th & 8th
20-something stoner girl walking into room: So… Are you aware that I just had a really extensive conversation with your mother?
20-something stoner guy, playing GTA: Um… Really? … What did you guys talk about?
20-something stoner girl, seriously: Michael Jackson!
–Harlem
Newpaper man: Get your free Daily News! Find out why Whitney Houston is back on crack! What? It’s true! It ain’t my fault. I ain’t sell it to her.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Allisa
Black woman: Sixteen dollars? That paper better be made out of Jesus's ass.
–Barnes & Noble, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Emily B.
40-something to friends: And what's going on with the fucking baby Jesus over there?
–Starbucks
Guy on cell: In my class, we were talking about how Jesus was a Viking warrior.
–Queens College
Woman, about Matt Lauer and Katie Couric: See, this is why Jesus Christ and the Pharisees didn't get along.
–22nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Rachel Peters
Woman on phone on the night before Easter: No, I do not want you at my house right now. (pause) I'm going home to watch The Ten Commandments and read my bible–Jesus is coming back tomorrow!
–B44 Bus
Overheard by: Micah
Drunk high school girl: If Jesus had discovered a cure for dry mouth, he'd be a lot more popular!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Smudge
White chick #1: Whatever happened to Jerry Springer?
White chick #2: Yeah, remember when he was like, it? You’d see him everywhere.
White chick #1: Yeah, he made that movie and all.
White chick #2: I heard he’s running for Mayor of Ohio.
White chick #1: Get out!
–Greenwich & North Moore
Older woman on park bench: How is Barry?
Older man on park bench: Barry Manilow? Don't know 'em.
Woman: You know Truman Capote's son? He liked pumpkin soup.
–Union Square Park
