Age/Aging

Teen girl #1: I just don’t understand why people wait so long to have kids. Then you’re so old that you can’t relate to them. If I’d had a kid when I was like, eleven, he’d have been three by the time I was fourteen.
Teen girl #2: Yeah. I totally read something about this on your LiveJournal.

–Yaffa Cafe, St. Mark’s Place

Overheard by: Miriam

Little girl on bathroom line: Mommy, let’s go in that one.
She points to the men’s room
Mother: No honey, that one is for boys. You can’t go in there until you’re 25 and at a bar and you really have to go.

–Panorama, 85th and 2nd

Headline by: Michael Johns

Runners-Up:

· “Hoochie-mama Knows Best” – senzanome

· “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” – William Levy

· “Daddy Always Lets Me” – David Kafrissen

· “Drew Barrymore at the E.T. Wrap Party” – Marc

· “Old enough to pee, good enough for me” – Big Jacobi

· “Ah, the natural desire to return to your place of conception” – MarcusJ

· “Mind Your Pees And Queues” – Dave Barnette

· “This life lesson brought to you by Bacardi” – RyRy

Honorable mentions:

· “…. And he’s really good looking, or he has coke” – Ryan

· “It’s also OK if you’re dragged” – Steve Estes

· “Don’t forget to put the seat back up when you’re done.” – Deek

· “Therapist session (retroactive)” – noa

· “Passing the Torch” – Jessy B

· “Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarden” – M. Walker

· “Barfly: Generations” – Derek L.

· “Paris Hilton’s First, And Last, Babysitting Gig” – John P.

· “Never To Early To Have Penis Envy” – Brian Drew

· “Void Where Prohibited” – Dave Barnette

· “Or completely out of money” – Natalie

· “How to raise a winner” – Adina C

· “Because that’s how you’ll get respect, honey” – Amanda

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Girl: I can’t believe they’re making a live action Transformers movie.
Guy: Whatever, I will definitely go see it.
Girl: Are you even old enough to remember Transformers?
Guy: Of course, I’m only three years younger than you.
Girl: Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you were old enough to be conscious of Transformers. My brothers are your age and they don’t remember the show that well.
Guy: You do realize every time you ask me that it doesn’t make me seem young, right? It just makes you seem old.

–26th & Madison

Overheard by: DL

Chick: My drama teacher said that she looked like she had been fed with a shovel as a child…He was my favorite teacher.

–1 train

Overheard by: Sidra Greene

Girl #1: I really wasn’t into him; he was too young.
Girl #2: What are you talking about? You’re a rapist.

–6th Avenue & West 3rd Street

Drunk chick #1: I have the best blind date story ever.
Drunk chick #2: Oh yeah?
Drunk chick #1: My sister’s friend flew from Australia to LA for a blind date, and she ended up flying to Aruba with the guy and marrying him like a week later.
Drunk chick #2: Wow. That’s awesome!
Drunk chick #1: But I think she was just, like, 35 and desperate to get married.

–Bleecker & Sullivan

Overheard by: djlindee

Guy: Well, she was like 35, so she wasn’t hot

–21st & 6th

Overheard by: Tommy Raiko

Checkout lady: School supplies? You gotta buy this in September, not December!
Chick: I know, but my little cousins want school supplies for Christmas, they wanna play teacher. I’m just following orders.
Checkout lady: Christmas?
Chick: Yeah, Christmas, it’s a gift.
Checkout lady: What about Hanukkah?
Chick: What about it?
Checkout lady: You ever heard of it?
Chick: Yeah, but these are a Christmas gift.
Checkout lady: You Jewish? Which half?
Chick: Only the good half.

Checkout lady: You a teacher?
Chick: No, a librarian.
Checkout lady: You look too young to have finished college. How old are you? Twenty?
Chick: No, I finished college.
Checkout lady: You eighteen?
Chick: No, I’m twenty-three.
Checkout lady: Oh. You gotta get married, then.

–K-Mart, Staten Island

Overheard by: Becka Dash

Drunk girl: Oh my god, I look like an 85 year old man.
Buzzed girl: Yeah, I was just about to say that.

–Rosie O’Grady’s ladies’ room, 7th Avenue

Overheard by: Rachel Lovinger

Girl #1: My brother’s started taking marijuana and I’m worried cause he’s only 17.
Girl #2: I’m so anti-drugs because my dad’s brother died of a drug overdose.
Girl #1: Was it a marijuana overdose?

–Columbia University